Stay or go? Part 1.
Hugo.. Hans liv har haft sina stunder. Allt började när han var fyra och hans mamma hittade sin man i säng med en annan kvinna. Efter det var hon inte sitt glada pigga hon utan någon som bara låg i sin säng och grät. När Hugo hade fyllt fem hittade han sin mamma för första gången liggandes på sitt sovrumsgolv liggandes i hennes spyor och någon sorts vätska. Det var inte sista gången han var tvungen att se henne så. Vid åldern av sju blev han misshandlad av sin mor. Hon tog även droger nu. När han hade slutat tvåan hittade han sin mor död på golver i köket.
Efter det flyttade han hem till sin pappa som har ehn liten lägenhet i England tillsammans med sin nya fru och hennes son. Efter flytten förändrades Hugo. Vid åldern av nio hade han lärt sig att ljuga och fake le. Allt var ju faderns påhitt, vilken nioåring fake ler och ljuger om sitt liv. Well well. Han kon inte så bra överens med hans "nya" mamma och var fiende med pappan.
Hugo går sitt första år på East High i London. Minns ni känslan man hade i magen första gången man skulle träffa sin klass för första gången? Det är så han känner sig just nu.
Hugo gick genom korridoren fylld av elever och lärare. Sanningen var att han had ingen aning om vart han skulle vara så han fortsatte att gå tills han såg en skylt där det stod "Reception" på. Han log för sig själv och klev in.
"Yes"? En tant på 50 år kanske, satt på en stol och tittade på en datorskärm.
"Hello, I'm Hugo Tomson. I'm new here so I don't know where I should be".
"Lets see". Hon skrev in något på datorn och tittade sedan på skärmen. "So you should be in classroom 1AMD".
"Oh okey, thanks". Hugo log och gick ut ur rummet.
Han tog till vänster i korridoren och ända fram till längan med bokstäverna "AMD" över öppningen.
Han satte sig ner på golvet mittemot väggen med dörren och lutade sig bakåt. Han plockade fram sin MP3 och snappade förbi alla låtar tills han kom fram till Travelling av Paper Lions. När elevmassan började strömma in i rummet ställde han sig upp och följde med.
Insidan av rummet var ganska tråkig. vrå väggar, bruna bänkar och stolar, sånt som brukar finnas i ett klassrum. Han satte sig på en ledig stol längst bak. Stolen bredvid honom var upptagen av någon som kommer troligen bli klassens populäraste kille. Snygg, lång, blond kille med bruna ögon. Hugo var bara tvungen att snegla lit på denna underbara person. (Juste glömde nog säga det men Hugo är homosexuell). Men i alla fall så stod det en kvinna längst fram i rummet.
"Hello class"! Hon hade en mjuk röst, troligen eftersom att hon höll i deras Musik lektioner. "So welcone here to East High. I hope that you'll like it. Welcome to this class with Art, Music and Dance. I'm going to have you in Music and for now in Dance untill Miss Jackson comes back. My name is Mrs Clatch, Marie Clatch, nice to meet you all." Hon log stort emot klassen.
My withered Flower - Ziall
gaaah problems? :'D
Jaaa
Jag sitter fast folk hjälp mig.
Jag skriver en Ziall fanfic och så men jag vet inte vad som ska hända så läs och kom med förslag :'D
(Förlåt för alla stavfel och sånt. Har inte orkat bry mig än xD )
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Day 1:
You’re gone and you’ll never come back. I’ll never see that perfect smile or hear your smooth voice. I couldn’t handle it, it was too much…
It's been 24 hours since you left us… since you left me.
I ran one hand through my blond hair. I sighed and stood up from the same chair that I’ve been sitting on for the last 24 hours. I didn’t want to leave the room where you where the last time I saw you.
Even if it was horrible to see what you became this last months of your life.
“You okej Ni?” Liam stood in the door looking at me.
“No, I’m not. I’ll never be okey again.” I walked past Liam and down the hospital hall. I just wanted to be home again. I didn’t want to be here.
Back in my apartment I locked myself inside and let out my tears. I didn’t want to cry in public but now I was alone and no one could see how I broke down.
“Why did you take him from me?” I was shouting, I didn’t really know to whom but I guess it was to God.
I fell into my sofa with all my clothes on and shoes. I was too tired of all crying that I didn’t care.
My tears didn’t stop as I expected so I cried myself to sleep.
Day 2:
I woke up in the sofa. I had been sleeping for 14 hours and I was still tired.
As I sat up I felt a headache comeing. “Oh god, I’ve not been drinking for days now” I thought to myself. I walked into the kitchen and saw a plate with some food on the bench. I wasn’t hungry so I walked by it without even looking at it. It was probably Liam who had made it for me so I felt a bit guilty but I didn’t care.
That day I didn’t do so much more than watch old clips from x-factor and every time you sang I fell back in tears.
Again I fell in the sofa with the tv playing “Tell me a lie” on repeat.
Day 3:
“Oh God Niall you have to get up”. Liam sat on the table in front of the sofa looking at me.
“I don’t want to”. I laid still hoping that he would go away.
“Ni you haven’t been eating anything for days and you smell like shit. What would Zayn say if he was here”? When Liam mentioned Zayn I was brought back to life.
Tears started to appear in my eyes as I sat up.
“I’m so sorry Niall”. Liam grabbed me and gave me a tight hug. I didn’t want to be there, I wanted to be with Zayn and no one else.
“I’m so sorry Ni, but you really have to get ready for Zayns funeral”. I whipped away my tears and stood up.
“Okey”. I walked into the bathroom just get a a huge chock when I looked at myself in the mirror.
“Oh God it that what I look like right now”. My eyes was so red and puffy it hurt. My hair stood in all different angles and so.
I took of my clothes and took a quick shower. It felt good to be clean again. I dressed with one of Zayns black shirts and my black jeans.
As I walked into Liams flat I didn’t care that the other guys looked at the shirt.
“Isn’t that Zayns”? Louis looked at me and I just gave him a slightly nod and sat down in the chain next to the window.
On the funeral I cried, I cried my heart out and I just hated to see Zayns pale face. He looked so clam even without his hair and emotionless face.
After half the funeral I had to leave, I couldn’t stand to say god bye to someone that I love so much. So I just left, without telling someone.
I walked around in the city, I didn’t care about some fans that was screaming my name.
One girl that I passed just gave me a hug and whispered that she was sorry. For some reason I felt kind of happy that she wasn’t like everyone else.
As I walked down the road the wind played with my blond messed up hair and soon I saw Seans home I started to ran. I knew that he wasn’t home but I had a spare key to his house and I didn’t want to see the other lads to see me.
Day 4:
I woke up with 26 missed calls and 94 texts. 90% of them was from Liam, 5% from Louis, 3% from Harry and 2% from Paul.
I didn’t want to see any of them today so I turned off my phone and went to see it I could find some other clothes. I was still wearing Zayn’s shirt after I changed.
Again I spend my day in front of the tv listening to old songs and watching old interviews.
Day 5:
I woke up when I heard knocks on the door. It was probably Liam, I didn’t want to see him but I got up and walked to the door. When I opened the door it wasn’t Liam, it was Louis. He looked destroyed with messed up clothes and his hair all over the place.
“Oh Ni”. He fell into my arms. We walked inside and I closed the door.
“Where the fuck have you been? We’ve been so worried about you”. Louis pulled away and looked at me.
“I’ve been here all the time”.
“Why haven’t you called back”? I let go of Louis and walked away.
“I didn’t want you to see me like this”. I stood by the window and looked on the leaves that flew through the air.
“Like that? Oh come on Niall what would Zayn say if he saw you-”.
“He’s not here, his dead and will never dome back”. I walked past Louis and out to the street. As Louis followed me I started to run. I ran away from him and from the truth.
“Niall”! Louis ran after me but since I was faster than him I was gone in seconds.
Day 6:
I’d been walking around all night. Sure I had an empty bottle of Whisky in my hand but still.
What would zayn say if he saw me now? I had to make up for him.
I walked to our apartments, I just hoped that nobody was home. To my surprise no one was, so I walked to my flat and opened the door. It was weird to be back but it was just for now.
I took a quick shower. I walked into Zayns room, I grabbed one of his hoodies and a pair of his brown chinos. I took my wallet and my shoes.
As I walked outside I knocked into Harry.
“Oh god Ni, where the fuck have you been”?
“Nowhere”. I walked past him and down the hall. I was quite happy that he didn’t follow me.
I walked down to the flower shop and bought a pair of roses.
It was a long walk to the graveyard but I didn’t want to take the buss.
By the time I came to Zayns grave it was dark. I hadn’t seen his grave before this but it was beautiful. Just like him. I sat down and laid the roses on the grave. I want to talk to you so badly, feel your touch next to my skin.
“Zayn if you can hear me I want you to know some stuff. I miss you, more then you can expect. I know that I should be with the boys and help them but I can’t. Every time I see them without you in the middle I’ll fall to tears. I know that I’m weak and that I should be stronger but I can’t… I need you”. I started to sing “Your Guardian Angel”, in the middle of the song I could hear your sweet, sweet voice.
I fell asleep next to your gravestone, next to you.
Day 7:
I woke up when I felt a hand on my shoulder but I was too cold and to tired to open my eyes so they stayed closed.
“Pick him up and take him to the car”. I guessed it was Paul who lifted me up. I remembered the smell of him, the feeling of security fell over me.
Day 8:
I woke up again in my room. It was 5.27 am, so I wasn’t really for going up but I had been sleeping the whole day.
I got up and looked at myself in the mirror. I was really pale and skinny, I haven’t had a real meal for a week now. Gosh I looked disgusting.
In the kitchen someone had made me some food. I could guess it was Paul sense it was pancakes.
Later on that day the guys knocked at my door but I didn’t open it sense I was laying on the floor passed out. If they open the door they would see that I didn’t even poked the food.
Day 9:
This time I woke up in a hospital room. Or I thought so at least. The only thing that was in the room was a bed, a table, a chair and my green bag. There was also a mirror so I stood up and looked at the pale, skinny, disgusting boy in the mirror.
“Is that really me”?
“Yea”. I turned around ans saw Liam in the doorway.
“Where am I”?
“McGricks hospital for psychic kids”. Liam look was at the ground with a sad face.
“Why am I here? I’m fine”.
“Fine?! You haven’t eaten sense Zayn died, you’re drinking at night and God knows where you disappeared to”. Liam watched me as a tear escaped his eye.
“I’m sorry that I don’t want to do anything. I’ve lost Zayn, one of the few that really loved me. I love him”! I felt the anger grow inside of me. How could they put me here? Sure I had it tough, but didn’t all of us have it?
I went straight up to Liam and started to hit him.
“I don’t want to be here, I’m fine, I shouldn’t be here”. Liam didn’t move, he just stood there waiting for me to give up. Sense I’ve not been eating for days it didn’t take long before I was all tired. Then he reached for me and gave me a hug. He didn’t say a thing he just stood there and holding me tight.
“Just give it a try, okey”? I didn’t say yes but he took my silence as a yes.
The rest of the day I met a lot of people who asked me a lot of stuff. I didn’t answer to them all I did was looking out the windows.
That evening I was crying more than ever. I felt more alone than ever. I cried myself to sleep again.
Day 10:
“Where the fuck am I, let me out”! I stood by the door and knocked with all my strength.
Suddenly the door open and I could walk out. First I just looked down the hall and then the other side. It was standing someone there down the hall. It was:
“Zayn”! I ran, I ran so fast I could but he never came closer. Then he stood right in front of me.
He didn’t have any eyes and he looked like he was murdered.
“Niall”! He screamed, it was empty and it felt like knifes.
I backed off but I couldn’t run away.
“Please don’t kill me”. I screamed.
I flew out of my bed.
“Oh god it was just a dream”. I sighed out as I felt the sweat running down my forehead. I felt the tears run down my face.
Day 11:
Today I’ve not been able to sleep for a second after the dream I had yesterday.
I’ve got some friends how ever. Alexis who’s here for her anorexia and Kenneth who’s here for self-harm. Both of them have been here for more than half a year.
Now was it lunch but I really didn’t want to eat. I didn’t want to be here but I had given my word to Liam that I would get better so I ate some bread.
That night I couldn’t sleep. The thought of Zayn saying my name like that was killing me. Did Zayn want to kill me?
“No, he wouldn’t… Or would he”? I sat up up all night and sang. I sang for me but most of all to Zayn.
Day 17:
Days have passed and each day has looked the same.
Wake up, eat something, talking to Alexis and Kenneth, go to the therapist, eat lunch, go to another therapist about my dreams, eat dinner, be with Alexis while Kenneth’s at his therapist, the other way around, go to my room, sleep for one or two hours and so on.
I wish that it could change or something. I wish that I could go back to the graveyard to see Zayn. I miss him so much, it’s like a hole inside of me and no one will be able to help me.
“But truth is that this is kind of helping, I look more like a human and I don’t cry that much anymore. Does that mean that I’m forgetting about Zayn”? I started to panicking and sat up from the therapist bed. “Oh god, I’m forgetting Zayn”.
“Take it easy Niall”. The therapist stood up and walked to me.
“I’m forgetting Zayn, how can I take it easy”.
“I said take it easy”! A sudden pain hit me right on my left cheek. I raised my hand to my cheek and a tear fell down from my eye. “I told you to take it easy”. He left me in the room and my tears fell down.
Day 19:
I’ve been here for ten days now. Today I’ll be released for a week and then come back to see how I feel.
I said goodbye to Alexis and Kenneth before I sat down in the yellow cab with my bag. It felt good to leave this place. My nightmares had stop a while ago but my therapist was still hitting me whenever I didn’t want to calm down.
I couldn’t wait to see the other lads but first thing first.
“Pull over here”. I said to the driver who pulled over and stopped the cab. “Please wait here it’ll just take a second”. He nodded as I closed the door and walked over the graveyard.
I walked over to Zayns grave and sat down.
“Oh god, haven’t the guys fix this”? The grave was nearly overgrown with stuff. I fixed it in seconds. While I tried to light the candle I heard someone behind me.
“Niall”? I turned around and looker right into Harrys green eyes.
“Hello Harry”. I stood up and gave the taller boy a hug.
“I’ve missed you, how are you”? He hugged me back and smiled.
“I’m fine, much better than before, I’ve missed you to. And the other guys”. We stood there for a while. I’d missed his smell, the warm feeling you got from him.
Tears filled my eyes and I let go.
“I hate this, I hate that his gone. I can’t handle it even if I’ve been to a therapist”. Harry just hushed me and hugged me again, this time tighter than ever. “We all miss him”. He whispered in my ear with a low voice.
We walked back to my cab, we hugged a last time before Harry walked away to his car and I sat down in my cab.
Back at our apartment I sat down my bag and walked into my flat. It felt weird to be back here again. I wiped away a tear that fell down from my eye. I sighted and lifted up my bag from the floor and closed the door. As fast as I lock my door I slided down with my back to the door and fell in tears. I was able to cry without anyone see it or hit me. I didn’t want them to see how I looked now, I wanted to see them don’t get me wrong but it was hard to stand up or even breath. So I still and cried myself to sleep again. It felt good to be able to cry again.
Day 20:
I woke up and sat straight up.
“Oh god what time is it”? I ran into the living room and saw that the clock showed 04.17 am. “Not more? You’re kidding me”. I sighted and walked into my bedroom. I couldn’t find myself to sleep again so I took a quick shower. After the shower I found myself sitting in Zayns room watching old pictures with nothing else on me than my towel easily tied around my waist.
I picked up one of Zayns t-shirts from the wardrobe and pair of his chinos.
05.00 am.
As I walked into the kitchen for something to eat I found nothing. Of coures, I hadn’t been home for days and either had Zayn. The thought of Zayn made me cry, not much but still enough for me to start shiver. I fell asleep in Zayns bed holding his pillow to my nose just so I could breath in his smell. I could swear that I heard his voice before I fell asleep.
“Niall”? Louis sat on the edge of the bed and shook me.
“What”? Truth was that I didn’t want to go up, I wanted to sleep, because in my dreams were the only place for me to be free and to see Zayn.
“You know you’re sleeping in Zayns bed”? I flew up and pushed me against the wall so much I could.
“Heeey. You okey Ni”? Louis reached out for me but I froze of the connection.
“Oh god Louis, I fell asleep in Zayns bed. He’ll kill me”. My eyes were in shock but after Louis had gave me a hug it felt okey.
“It’s okey and Zayn wont kill you for you sleeping in his bed. Truth is, how much time did he spend there and not in yours”? My face turned into a deep red colour.
That day I spend with Louis just catching up and goofing around. I was really happy to see his smile again. It made me feel so happy but it could never fill the hole in my heart.
I fell asleep in Zayns bed that night. Just before I fell asleep I could feel a worm touch and a small whisper, it only said my name. And I knew that Zayn would take care of me.
Day 21:
The next day I visited Harrys flat.
“Are you home Hazza”? I open the door and walked inside. I found Harry asleep in his sofa with the tv on. It was the interview when we got together as a band, as One Direction. I turned the tv off and walked over to Harry.
I lifted him and walked into his bedroom. I took of his jacket and his shoes before I laid him down.
As I started to walk to the door I heard a sleepy voice behind me.
“Niall please don’t leave me, I don’t want to be alone”. Harry stood in the doorway to his room. He looked so destroyed with his messed up hair and red nose and those puffy brown eyes. In just three steps I stood in front of him, holding him into a tight hug. I could feel how he started to shiver and my shoulder began to feel a bit wet from all the tears.
“I miss him so much. I can’t stand it anymore”.
“Me ether”. I couldn’t find myself to cry in front of the younger boy. Even if it killed me I was older and I had to be strong. Rest of the day we tried to be strong, we watched old x-factor clips and the old video diary's. It was so fun to see Harry again. It had been so long but it killed me to know how sad he was.
Day 22:
Today I was suppose to see Liam but I just had to see Zayn before. I hadn’t cried for two days now and it felt really good. I took a quick shower, I stood in front of the mirror for a long time. My hair was had grown out and was brown instead of blond. So I took a pair om light brown chinos and i white t-shirt, I also grabber one of Zayns jackets. It still had Zayns smell over it, I could feel my eyes tear up, the sweet smell of Zayn brought me back to tears.
I heard someone knocking at the door so I wiped away the tears and hoped that the person didn’t see the redness in my eyes.
“Yea”? I open the door and Liam flew into my arms.
“I’m so sorry”. His voice was thick of all the tears and sobbing.
“Liam take it easy, what is it”? I let go of him and looked straight into his hazel brown eyes.
“I’m so sorry that I couldn’t be strong for you and the boys”. I felt like crying but again I couldn’t find myself weak and cry, so I held it in.
“You’re always strong, remember that. Wanna join me to Zayns grave”? Liam let out a weak smile, but it was still a smile.
“Yea”. He wiped away the tears with the inside of his shirt.I could see that he had been crying, a lot. His eyes was so red and puffy it was hard to believe that that used to be the strongest person I knew.
We walked down the street in silence. Only some birds sang above us in the trees. Two girls came up to us as we stood at the flower shop.
“Could you please put this on Zayns grave sometime”. A ten year old girl gave me a small brown teddy with fluffy ears. “We loved him so much but we can’t even imagine how much you miss him”. The other girl gave Liam a hug, he hugged her back and smiled to her.
“He would be so happy if he knew how much you loved him”. They say good bye as I gained five blood red flowers.
We took the bus down to the church and walked from there.
“It’s so empty here”. Liam looked at the ground while we walked. I so wanted to cry, I knew that I would but not until we saw the grave. We turned the corner so we saw the gray stone. It looked so peaceful. There were some candles and flowers on it so I guessed that his family was there not long ago.
I sat down on my knees with Liam on my side. Liam rested the teddys back against the rock and I laid the flowers on the grave.
“Why aren’t crying in front of us”? Liam looked at me but my eyes stayed at the intricate texts that form the words Zayn Jawaad Malik.
“I don’t want you to think that I’m weak. I don’t want you to see how I break down everytime I’m alone”. I grabbed my arm as the tears started to break up in my eyes.
“You’re strong, but if you have to cry it’s okey”. With toes words I let all my feelings out. Every single of them. I buried my head in my hands and let the tears stream down my face. Suddenly I felt Liam holding me. I had missed his caring hugs when he rubber circles on my back at the same time whisper small and thin words into my ears. We just sat there. Crying and hugging each other. I knew that I wasn’t the only one taking this bad but now I knew who took it as bad as me.
“Can you do me a favor”? I looked straight into Liams eyes.
“Yea”.
“Can you follow me to the hospital in three days”? Liam hugged me and whispered.
“Of course”.
You’re gone and you’ll never come back. I’ll never see that perfect smile or hear your smooth voice. I couldn’t handle it, it was too much…
It's been 24 hours since you left us… since you left me.
I ran one hand through my blond hair. I sighed and stood up from the same chair that I’ve been sitting on for the last 24 hours. I didn’t want to leave the room where you where the last time I saw you.
Even if it was horrible to see what you became this last months of your life.
“You okej Ni?” Liam stood in the door looking at me.
“No, I’m not. I’ll never be okey again.” I walked past Liam and down the hospital hall. I just wanted to be home again. I didn’t want to be here.
Back in my apartment I locked myself inside and let out my tears. I didn’t want to cry in public but now I was alone and no one could see how I broke down.
“Why did you take him from me?” I was shouting, I didn’t really know to whom but I guess it was to God.
I fell into my sofa with all my clothes on and shoes. I was too tired of all crying that I didn’t care.
My tears didn’t stop as I expected so I cried myself to sleep.
Day 2:
I woke up in the sofa. I had been sleeping for 14 hours and I was still tired.
As I sat up I felt a headache comeing. “Oh god, I’ve not been drinking for days now” I thought to myself. I walked into the kitchen and saw a plate with some food on the bench. I wasn’t hungry so I walked by it without even looking at it. It was probably Liam who had made it for me so I felt a bit guilty but I didn’t care.
That day I didn’t do so much more than watch old clips from x-factor and every time you sang I fell back in tears.
Again I fell in the sofa with the tv playing “Tell me a lie” on repeat.
Day 3:
“Oh God Niall you have to get up”. Liam sat on the table in front of the sofa looking at me.
“I don’t want to”. I laid still hoping that he would go away.
“Ni you haven’t been eating anything for days and you smell like shit. What would Zayn say if he was here”? When Liam mentioned Zayn I was brought back to life.
Tears started to appear in my eyes as I sat up.
“I’m so sorry Niall”. Liam grabbed me and gave me a tight hug. I didn’t want to be there, I wanted to be with Zayn and no one else.
“I’m so sorry Ni, but you really have to get ready for Zayns funeral”. I whipped away my tears and stood up.
“Okey”. I walked into the bathroom just get a a huge chock when I looked at myself in the mirror.
“Oh God it that what I look like right now”. My eyes was so red and puffy it hurt. My hair stood in all different angles and so.
I took of my clothes and took a quick shower. It felt good to be clean again. I dressed with one of Zayns black shirts and my black jeans.
As I walked into Liams flat I didn’t care that the other guys looked at the shirt.
“Isn’t that Zayns”? Louis looked at me and I just gave him a slightly nod and sat down in the chain next to the window.
On the funeral I cried, I cried my heart out and I just hated to see Zayns pale face. He looked so clam even without his hair and emotionless face.
After half the funeral I had to leave, I couldn’t stand to say god bye to someone that I love so much. So I just left, without telling someone.
I walked around in the city, I didn’t care about some fans that was screaming my name.
One girl that I passed just gave me a hug and whispered that she was sorry. For some reason I felt kind of happy that she wasn’t like everyone else.
As I walked down the road the wind played with my blond messed up hair and soon I saw Seans home I started to ran. I knew that he wasn’t home but I had a spare key to his house and I didn’t want to see the other lads to see me.
Day 4:
I woke up with 26 missed calls and 94 texts. 90% of them was from Liam, 5% from Louis, 3% from Harry and 2% from Paul.
I didn’t want to see any of them today so I turned off my phone and went to see it I could find some other clothes. I was still wearing Zayn’s shirt after I changed.
Again I spend my day in front of the tv listening to old songs and watching old interviews.
Day 5:
I woke up when I heard knocks on the door. It was probably Liam, I didn’t want to see him but I got up and walked to the door. When I opened the door it wasn’t Liam, it was Louis. He looked destroyed with messed up clothes and his hair all over the place.
“Oh Ni”. He fell into my arms. We walked inside and I closed the door.
“Where the fuck have you been? We’ve been so worried about you”. Louis pulled away and looked at me.
“I’ve been here all the time”.
“Why haven’t you called back”? I let go of Louis and walked away.
“I didn’t want you to see me like this”. I stood by the window and looked on the leaves that flew through the air.
“Like that? Oh come on Niall what would Zayn say if he saw you-”.
“He’s not here, his dead and will never dome back”. I walked past Louis and out to the street. As Louis followed me I started to run. I ran away from him and from the truth.
“Niall”! Louis ran after me but since I was faster than him I was gone in seconds.
Day 6:
I’d been walking around all night. Sure I had an empty bottle of Whisky in my hand but still.
What would zayn say if he saw me now? I had to make up for him.
I walked to our apartments, I just hoped that nobody was home. To my surprise no one was, so I walked to my flat and opened the door. It was weird to be back but it was just for now.
I took a quick shower. I walked into Zayns room, I grabbed one of his hoodies and a pair of his brown chinos. I took my wallet and my shoes.
As I walked outside I knocked into Harry.
“Oh god Ni, where the fuck have you been”?
“Nowhere”. I walked past him and down the hall. I was quite happy that he didn’t follow me.
I walked down to the flower shop and bought a pair of roses.
It was a long walk to the graveyard but I didn’t want to take the buss.
By the time I came to Zayns grave it was dark. I hadn’t seen his grave before this but it was beautiful. Just like him. I sat down and laid the roses on the grave. I want to talk to you so badly, feel your touch next to my skin.
“Zayn if you can hear me I want you to know some stuff. I miss you, more then you can expect. I know that I should be with the boys and help them but I can’t. Every time I see them without you in the middle I’ll fall to tears. I know that I’m weak and that I should be stronger but I can’t… I need you”. I started to sing “Your Guardian Angel”, in the middle of the song I could hear your sweet, sweet voice.
I fell asleep next to your gravestone, next to you.
Day 7:
I woke up when I felt a hand on my shoulder but I was too cold and to tired to open my eyes so they stayed closed.
“Pick him up and take him to the car”. I guessed it was Paul who lifted me up. I remembered the smell of him, the feeling of security fell over me.
Day 8:
I woke up again in my room. It was 5.27 am, so I wasn’t really for going up but I had been sleeping the whole day.
I got up and looked at myself in the mirror. I was really pale and skinny, I haven’t had a real meal for a week now. Gosh I looked disgusting.
In the kitchen someone had made me some food. I could guess it was Paul sense it was pancakes.
Later on that day the guys knocked at my door but I didn’t open it sense I was laying on the floor passed out. If they open the door they would see that I didn’t even poked the food.
Day 9:
This time I woke up in a hospital room. Or I thought so at least. The only thing that was in the room was a bed, a table, a chair and my green bag. There was also a mirror so I stood up and looked at the pale, skinny, disgusting boy in the mirror.
“Is that really me”?
“Yea”. I turned around ans saw Liam in the doorway.
“Where am I”?
“McGricks hospital for psychic kids”. Liam look was at the ground with a sad face.
“Why am I here? I’m fine”.
“Fine?! You haven’t eaten sense Zayn died, you’re drinking at night and God knows where you disappeared to”. Liam watched me as a tear escaped his eye.
“I’m sorry that I don’t want to do anything. I’ve lost Zayn, one of the few that really loved me. I love him”! I felt the anger grow inside of me. How could they put me here? Sure I had it tough, but didn’t all of us have it?
I went straight up to Liam and started to hit him.
“I don’t want to be here, I’m fine, I shouldn’t be here”. Liam didn’t move, he just stood there waiting for me to give up. Sense I’ve not been eating for days it didn’t take long before I was all tired. Then he reached for me and gave me a hug. He didn’t say a thing he just stood there and holding me tight.
“Just give it a try, okey”? I didn’t say yes but he took my silence as a yes.
The rest of the day I met a lot of people who asked me a lot of stuff. I didn’t answer to them all I did was looking out the windows.
That evening I was crying more than ever. I felt more alone than ever. I cried myself to sleep again.
Day 10:
“Where the fuck am I, let me out”! I stood by the door and knocked with all my strength.
Suddenly the door open and I could walk out. First I just looked down the hall and then the other side. It was standing someone there down the hall. It was:
“Zayn”! I ran, I ran so fast I could but he never came closer. Then he stood right in front of me.
He didn’t have any eyes and he looked like he was murdered.
“Niall”! He screamed, it was empty and it felt like knifes.
I backed off but I couldn’t run away.
“Please don’t kill me”. I screamed.
I flew out of my bed.
“Oh god it was just a dream”. I sighed out as I felt the sweat running down my forehead. I felt the tears run down my face.
Day 11:
Today I’ve not been able to sleep for a second after the dream I had yesterday.
I’ve got some friends how ever. Alexis who’s here for her anorexia and Kenneth who’s here for self-harm. Both of them have been here for more than half a year.
Now was it lunch but I really didn’t want to eat. I didn’t want to be here but I had given my word to Liam that I would get better so I ate some bread.
That night I couldn’t sleep. The thought of Zayn saying my name like that was killing me. Did Zayn want to kill me?
“No, he wouldn’t… Or would he”? I sat up up all night and sang. I sang for me but most of all to Zayn.
Day 17:
Days have passed and each day has looked the same.
Wake up, eat something, talking to Alexis and Kenneth, go to the therapist, eat lunch, go to another therapist about my dreams, eat dinner, be with Alexis while Kenneth’s at his therapist, the other way around, go to my room, sleep for one or two hours and so on.
I wish that it could change or something. I wish that I could go back to the graveyard to see Zayn. I miss him so much, it’s like a hole inside of me and no one will be able to help me.
“But truth is that this is kind of helping, I look more like a human and I don’t cry that much anymore. Does that mean that I’m forgetting about Zayn”? I started to panicking and sat up from the therapist bed. “Oh god, I’m forgetting Zayn”.
“Take it easy Niall”. The therapist stood up and walked to me.
“I’m forgetting Zayn, how can I take it easy”.
“I said take it easy”! A sudden pain hit me right on my left cheek. I raised my hand to my cheek and a tear fell down from my eye. “I told you to take it easy”. He left me in the room and my tears fell down.
Day 19:
I’ve been here for ten days now. Today I’ll be released for a week and then come back to see how I feel.
I said goodbye to Alexis and Kenneth before I sat down in the yellow cab with my bag. It felt good to leave this place. My nightmares had stop a while ago but my therapist was still hitting me whenever I didn’t want to calm down.
I couldn’t wait to see the other lads but first thing first.
“Pull over here”. I said to the driver who pulled over and stopped the cab. “Please wait here it’ll just take a second”. He nodded as I closed the door and walked over the graveyard.
I walked over to Zayns grave and sat down.
“Oh god, haven’t the guys fix this”? The grave was nearly overgrown with stuff. I fixed it in seconds. While I tried to light the candle I heard someone behind me.
“Niall”? I turned around and looker right into Harrys green eyes.
“Hello Harry”. I stood up and gave the taller boy a hug.
“I’ve missed you, how are you”? He hugged me back and smiled.
“I’m fine, much better than before, I’ve missed you to. And the other guys”. We stood there for a while. I’d missed his smell, the warm feeling you got from him.
Tears filled my eyes and I let go.
“I hate this, I hate that his gone. I can’t handle it even if I’ve been to a therapist”. Harry just hushed me and hugged me again, this time tighter than ever. “We all miss him”. He whispered in my ear with a low voice.
We walked back to my cab, we hugged a last time before Harry walked away to his car and I sat down in my cab.
Back at our apartment I sat down my bag and walked into my flat. It felt weird to be back here again. I wiped away a tear that fell down from my eye. I sighted and lifted up my bag from the floor and closed the door. As fast as I lock my door I slided down with my back to the door and fell in tears. I was able to cry without anyone see it or hit me. I didn’t want them to see how I looked now, I wanted to see them don’t get me wrong but it was hard to stand up or even breath. So I still and cried myself to sleep again. It felt good to be able to cry again.
Day 20:
I woke up and sat straight up.
“Oh god what time is it”? I ran into the living room and saw that the clock showed 04.17 am. “Not more? You’re kidding me”. I sighted and walked into my bedroom. I couldn’t find myself to sleep again so I took a quick shower. After the shower I found myself sitting in Zayns room watching old pictures with nothing else on me than my towel easily tied around my waist.
I picked up one of Zayns t-shirts from the wardrobe and pair of his chinos.
05.00 am.
As I walked into the kitchen for something to eat I found nothing. Of coures, I hadn’t been home for days and either had Zayn. The thought of Zayn made me cry, not much but still enough for me to start shiver. I fell asleep in Zayns bed holding his pillow to my nose just so I could breath in his smell. I could swear that I heard his voice before I fell asleep.
“Niall”? Louis sat on the edge of the bed and shook me.
“What”? Truth was that I didn’t want to go up, I wanted to sleep, because in my dreams were the only place for me to be free and to see Zayn.
“You know you’re sleeping in Zayns bed”? I flew up and pushed me against the wall so much I could.
“Heeey. You okey Ni”? Louis reached out for me but I froze of the connection.
“Oh god Louis, I fell asleep in Zayns bed. He’ll kill me”. My eyes were in shock but after Louis had gave me a hug it felt okey.
“It’s okey and Zayn wont kill you for you sleeping in his bed. Truth is, how much time did he spend there and not in yours”? My face turned into a deep red colour.
That day I spend with Louis just catching up and goofing around. I was really happy to see his smile again. It made me feel so happy but it could never fill the hole in my heart.
I fell asleep in Zayns bed that night. Just before I fell asleep I could feel a worm touch and a small whisper, it only said my name. And I knew that Zayn would take care of me.
Day 21:
The next day I visited Harrys flat.
“Are you home Hazza”? I open the door and walked inside. I found Harry asleep in his sofa with the tv on. It was the interview when we got together as a band, as One Direction. I turned the tv off and walked over to Harry.
I lifted him and walked into his bedroom. I took of his jacket and his shoes before I laid him down.
As I started to walk to the door I heard a sleepy voice behind me.
“Niall please don’t leave me, I don’t want to be alone”. Harry stood in the doorway to his room. He looked so destroyed with his messed up hair and red nose and those puffy brown eyes. In just three steps I stood in front of him, holding him into a tight hug. I could feel how he started to shiver and my shoulder began to feel a bit wet from all the tears.
“I miss him so much. I can’t stand it anymore”.
“Me ether”. I couldn’t find myself to cry in front of the younger boy. Even if it killed me I was older and I had to be strong. Rest of the day we tried to be strong, we watched old x-factor clips and the old video diary's. It was so fun to see Harry again. It had been so long but it killed me to know how sad he was.
Day 22:
Today I was suppose to see Liam but I just had to see Zayn before. I hadn’t cried for two days now and it felt really good. I took a quick shower, I stood in front of the mirror for a long time. My hair was had grown out and was brown instead of blond. So I took a pair om light brown chinos and i white t-shirt, I also grabber one of Zayns jackets. It still had Zayns smell over it, I could feel my eyes tear up, the sweet smell of Zayn brought me back to tears.
I heard someone knocking at the door so I wiped away the tears and hoped that the person didn’t see the redness in my eyes.
“Yea”? I open the door and Liam flew into my arms.
“I’m so sorry”. His voice was thick of all the tears and sobbing.
“Liam take it easy, what is it”? I let go of him and looked straight into his hazel brown eyes.
“I’m so sorry that I couldn’t be strong for you and the boys”. I felt like crying but again I couldn’t find myself weak and cry, so I held it in.
“You’re always strong, remember that. Wanna join me to Zayns grave”? Liam let out a weak smile, but it was still a smile.
“Yea”. He wiped away the tears with the inside of his shirt.I could see that he had been crying, a lot. His eyes was so red and puffy it was hard to believe that that used to be the strongest person I knew.
We walked down the street in silence. Only some birds sang above us in the trees. Two girls came up to us as we stood at the flower shop.
“Could you please put this on Zayns grave sometime”. A ten year old girl gave me a small brown teddy with fluffy ears. “We loved him so much but we can’t even imagine how much you miss him”. The other girl gave Liam a hug, he hugged her back and smiled to her.
“He would be so happy if he knew how much you loved him”. They say good bye as I gained five blood red flowers.
We took the bus down to the church and walked from there.
“It’s so empty here”. Liam looked at the ground while we walked. I so wanted to cry, I knew that I would but not until we saw the grave. We turned the corner so we saw the gray stone. It looked so peaceful. There were some candles and flowers on it so I guessed that his family was there not long ago.
I sat down on my knees with Liam on my side. Liam rested the teddys back against the rock and I laid the flowers on the grave.
“Why aren’t crying in front of us”? Liam looked at me but my eyes stayed at the intricate texts that form the words Zayn Jawaad Malik.
“I don’t want you to think that I’m weak. I don’t want you to see how I break down everytime I’m alone”. I grabbed my arm as the tears started to break up in my eyes.
“You’re strong, but if you have to cry it’s okey”. With toes words I let all my feelings out. Every single of them. I buried my head in my hands and let the tears stream down my face. Suddenly I felt Liam holding me. I had missed his caring hugs when he rubber circles on my back at the same time whisper small and thin words into my ears. We just sat there. Crying and hugging each other. I knew that I wasn’t the only one taking this bad but now I knew who took it as bad as me.
“Can you do me a favor”? I looked straight into Liams eyes.
“Yea”.
“Can you follow me to the hospital in three days”? Liam hugged me and whispered.
“Of course”.
Right or wrong? part 1
Hej, jag heter Alec Grims och är 17 år gammal. Jag vet att det här året kommer bli ganska annorlunda gemnförelse från förra året så jag skulle vilja dela med mig av det. Jag kanske ska presentera mig först. Som sagt heter jag Alec Mhichel Grims och är 17 år gammal. Jag bor med min mamma och storebror. Min pappa sitter i fängelset efter misshandel emot familjen och mord på min lilla syster. Först bodde vi på en liten ö under Finland som heter Naguu men vi flytade till England i hopp om bättre liv.Jag har rött spretigt kort hår och lysande blå ögon, jag är även 170 cm lång och är hyfsat small. Jag tränar inte i gym eler spelar fotboll som "normala" killar gör. Nej jag spelar piano och gitarr men min största hobbi är fotografering. Jag går sista året i St:Georgy skolan i England.
Detta kommer bli ett intresant år jag vet det.
"Idiot"!
"Ugly basterd"!
"Die"!
"Go away"!
Tja såhär möttes man på sin första rast. Jag är ju "nya" eleven men dom borde inte vara så hårda emot mig.
Några andra i korridoren stod bara och tittade på mig medans vissa skrek dom hära vackra orden till mig.
Några tjejer ifrån klassen under mig stod lite längre bort och viskade och pekade på mig.
Jag orkar inte mera så jag sprang. Jag sprang bort från kommentarerna och blickarna. Jag sprang ut på skolgården och bortåt emot mopederna och bilarna.
Jag hade precis haft min första lektion i matte och när jag kom ut ifrån klassrummet hade folk attakerat mig på direkten.
Jag är inte en sån som gråter men nu tårades mina ögon upp. Jag stannade i slutet av parkeringen för att hämta andan.
"Sorry but are you okey"? Det var en stark men ändå bekväm röst bakom mig som hade ställt frågan. Jag snurrade snabbt runt och möttes av en lite längre kille. Brunt hår och hasselbruna ögon. Han verkade beskyddande och snäll men jag vågade inte medje att jag ville ha beskydd.
"Hello I'm Niall Horan and I know who you are. We have the same math class, you're Alec Grims". En blond kortare kille hade kommit fram till brunetten och räckte nu ut handen. Han var fortfarande längre än mig men ändå inte så mycket. Han hade vackra klarblå ögon och blont hår, det var i och för sig brunt i hårbotten men sånt bryr jag mig inte om.
"Oh, hello. Thank you but I'm fine". Jag tittade ner i marken så att dom inte skulle se tårarna i ögonen som var påväg att svämma över.
"Well something have to be wrong, by the way I'm Liam Payne and I hope that we'll have some classes in common". Liam log emot mig. Innan jag visste ordet av hade Liam slagit armarna runt mig och kramade om mig. Som i chock stod jag stilla och kännde hur Liams beskyddande aura omgav mig.
0
Hello again - Larry
Detta är inget som jag skrivit för skoj skull det är egentligen något jag slängde ihop dom sista minutrarna på Svenskalektionen så att det såg ut som om jag har jobbat xD
Men den blev nästan bra iaf :D
Juste det här är min första Larry fan fic så hoppas inte på för mycket :D
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“Harry, vart är du”?! Jag hörde mitt namn ropas men jag sa inget.
“Harry, kom fram”! Det var sommar och varmt. Vinden lekte lätt med mitt bruna lockiga hår och löven runt mig. Jag och Louis hade känt varandra i tre år nu, det är nästan hela mitt liv. Eftersom att jag är åtta och Louis är tio.
Vi hade lovat att vi skulle vart bästa vänner för alltid, att vi aldrig skulle skiljas åt, men vi fick inte som vi ville. Louis skulle flytta till Los Angles och jag skulle stanna här i New york. Eller ja lite utanför New York men nästan där. Jag ville inte förlora honom. Jag ville inte bli av med min brunhåriga vän. Vad skulle jag göra utan Boo-bear?
“Harry, snälla kom fram”. Louis röst lät oroad och tjock av tårar. Jag kramade trädstammen hårdare, varför skulle vi skiljas åt? Tårar började rinna ner på min kind. Jag såg Louis springa snabbt förbi trädet jag satt i. Jag höll andan och hoppades på att jag inte skulle höra mina snyftningar.
“Harry vart är du”? Louis tittade sig omkring och sen upp. ”Harry kom ner, du kan ramla ner och slå ihjäl dig”.
“Vad spelar det för roll? Jag kommer dö av ensamheten om du lämnar mig”. Nu lät jag tårarna rinna hur mycket dom ville.
“Snälla Hazza, du betyder så mycket för mig, jag vill säga hej då åtminstånde”. Jag nickade och klättrade ner med tårarna strömandes ner för kinderna.
“Jag kommer sakna dig jättemycket men så fort jag blir 20 flyttar jag tillbaka. Okej”? Louis kramade om mig. Jag skulle sakna hans kramar, nära och kärleksfulla. Jag drog in hans doft och nickade intill hans nacke.
Vi stod där en lång stund innan Louis släppte taget och gick iväg.
Jag gjorde inget, jag stod bara där och såg den äldre pojken försvinna .
15 år senare:
Det hade gått 15 år sen Louis hade flyttat. Med tiden hade det blivit lättare med dom första dagarna utan Louis vid min sida satt jag bara och grät.
Jag hade växt till mig en del nu. Lång och ganska snygg om man får säga så själv. Jag jobbade nu som bagare i mammas bageri. Det var ett hårt jobb men det var kul och man tjänade på det. Jag hade en egen lägenhet mitt inne i central New York.
Louis hade lovat mig att han skulle komma tillbaka när han var 20 år, det var för fem år sen. Jag hade tappar hoppet på att få se honom igen efter dom fem åren som hade gått. Tänk om han hade hittat någon söt tjej och skaffat familj medans jag har väntat på honom. Tänk om han har glömt bort mig. Tänk om han var död.
Med alla dessa tankar i huvudet drog jag på mig min jacka och blåa Converse. Det var helg och jag skulle träffa Sean och Niall.
Jag gick ut på gatan. Det var fullt av bilar och folk, som vanligt då. Jag gick till höger och upp emot övergångsstället. Folk knuffades för att komma över, det var trångt och varmt. Jag stannade längst fram i klungan och väntade på att det skulle bli grönt för oss. Det blev grönt för bilarna som startade motorerna. Jag kände hur folk tryckte på bakifrån men jag stod stilla. Helt plötsligt kände jag en hård knuff bakifrån och jag föll framåt. Det ändes som om tiden stod stilla när jag föll genom luften tills jag slog i den hårda asfalten. Bromsljud skrek och långt borta hörde jag hur folk skrek. En snabb smärta i sidan slog till och jag kände hur luften tömma mina lungor.
Pip Pip Pip. Ljuden lät avlägsna men ändå tydligt. Jag kunde fortfarande inte öppna ögonen men jag kände närvaron av en varm själ.
“Vart är jag”? Mumlade jag.
“Harry, hur mår du”? Jag kände igen rösten men inte helt riktigt. Den var för vuxen för att vara hans.
“Eh, ont i huvudet och i sidan”. Jag kved till av smärtan som slog till i lungorna när jag pratade.
“Jag kallar efter doktor”. Synen blev bättre och jag hann precis se ryggen på personen som varit i mitt rum. Han var inte så lång så han kunde inte varit mycket yngre än mig. Han hade platt brunt hår men det kunde lika gärna vara lockigt blont. Vem vet min syn var ju fortfarande suddig.
Efter en kort stund kom en lång man in i rummet, först stod han bara och tittade på mig och sen suckand han djupt.
“Då ska vi se, jag ska göra några tester och sen får du åka hem”. Jag nickade och manen gick ut. Jag vände blicken till manen som stod i dörröppningen och såg på mig med ledsna ögon. Nu var min syn tillbaka och jag kunde se honom klart. Som sagt var han ganska kort och hade platt brunt hår, troligen plattat med plattång. Han hade blåa ögon som troligen brukade vara glada men just nu var dom fyllda med sorg.
“Förlåt att jag frågar, men vem är du”? Någon sekund efter jag frågade det önskade jag att jag bara hållit tyst. Tårar hade fyllt ögonen på manen och nu svämmade dom över. Han slog händerna för sitt ansikte och jag hörde hans snyftningar.
“Förlåt jag menar inte”. Jag satte mig upp även fast smärtan var hemsk. Jag ställde mig upp och gick fram till honom. Det tog bara en sekunds tvekan innan jag slog armarna om manen. Där var den igen, den där känslan som säger att jag vet vem det här är. “Louis förlåt att jag glömde dig”. Han stannade till mitt i en snyftning och tittade upp på mig.
“Du kommer ihåg, jag trodde du hade glömt mig”. Han kramade om mig och begravde sitt huvud i min nacke.
“Ja glömma dig? Nej jag trodde du hade glömt mig eller något eftersom att du aldrig kom tillbaka”. Jag puttade ifrån mig från Louis och tittade på honom med stora ögon.
“Jaha du menar det. Nej jag försökte komma tillbaka men jag kunde inte”. Louis tittade ner i golvet.
“Det är lugnt. Vi är ju tillsammans nu”. Jag satte två fingrar under hans haka så att han tittade upp på mig. “Jag har saknat dig så mycket”. Jag lade min panna emot Louis och log.
“Jag har saknat dig med”.
Men den blev nästan bra iaf :D
Juste det här är min första Larry fan fic så hoppas inte på för mycket :D
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“Harry, vart är du”?! Jag hörde mitt namn ropas men jag sa inget.
“Harry, kom fram”! Det var sommar och varmt. Vinden lekte lätt med mitt bruna lockiga hår och löven runt mig. Jag och Louis hade känt varandra i tre år nu, det är nästan hela mitt liv. Eftersom att jag är åtta och Louis är tio.
Vi hade lovat att vi skulle vart bästa vänner för alltid, att vi aldrig skulle skiljas åt, men vi fick inte som vi ville. Louis skulle flytta till Los Angles och jag skulle stanna här i New york. Eller ja lite utanför New York men nästan där. Jag ville inte förlora honom. Jag ville inte bli av med min brunhåriga vän. Vad skulle jag göra utan Boo-bear?
“Harry, snälla kom fram”. Louis röst lät oroad och tjock av tårar. Jag kramade trädstammen hårdare, varför skulle vi skiljas åt? Tårar började rinna ner på min kind. Jag såg Louis springa snabbt förbi trädet jag satt i. Jag höll andan och hoppades på att jag inte skulle höra mina snyftningar.
“Harry vart är du”? Louis tittade sig omkring och sen upp. ”Harry kom ner, du kan ramla ner och slå ihjäl dig”.
“Vad spelar det för roll? Jag kommer dö av ensamheten om du lämnar mig”. Nu lät jag tårarna rinna hur mycket dom ville.
“Snälla Hazza, du betyder så mycket för mig, jag vill säga hej då åtminstånde”. Jag nickade och klättrade ner med tårarna strömandes ner för kinderna.
“Jag kommer sakna dig jättemycket men så fort jag blir 20 flyttar jag tillbaka. Okej”? Louis kramade om mig. Jag skulle sakna hans kramar, nära och kärleksfulla. Jag drog in hans doft och nickade intill hans nacke.
Vi stod där en lång stund innan Louis släppte taget och gick iväg.
Jag gjorde inget, jag stod bara där och såg den äldre pojken försvinna .
15 år senare:
Det hade gått 15 år sen Louis hade flyttat. Med tiden hade det blivit lättare med dom första dagarna utan Louis vid min sida satt jag bara och grät.
Jag hade växt till mig en del nu. Lång och ganska snygg om man får säga så själv. Jag jobbade nu som bagare i mammas bageri. Det var ett hårt jobb men det var kul och man tjänade på det. Jag hade en egen lägenhet mitt inne i central New York.
Louis hade lovat mig att han skulle komma tillbaka när han var 20 år, det var för fem år sen. Jag hade tappar hoppet på att få se honom igen efter dom fem åren som hade gått. Tänk om han hade hittat någon söt tjej och skaffat familj medans jag har väntat på honom. Tänk om han har glömt bort mig. Tänk om han var död.
Med alla dessa tankar i huvudet drog jag på mig min jacka och blåa Converse. Det var helg och jag skulle träffa Sean och Niall.
Jag gick ut på gatan. Det var fullt av bilar och folk, som vanligt då. Jag gick till höger och upp emot övergångsstället. Folk knuffades för att komma över, det var trångt och varmt. Jag stannade längst fram i klungan och väntade på att det skulle bli grönt för oss. Det blev grönt för bilarna som startade motorerna. Jag kände hur folk tryckte på bakifrån men jag stod stilla. Helt plötsligt kände jag en hård knuff bakifrån och jag föll framåt. Det ändes som om tiden stod stilla när jag föll genom luften tills jag slog i den hårda asfalten. Bromsljud skrek och långt borta hörde jag hur folk skrek. En snabb smärta i sidan slog till och jag kände hur luften tömma mina lungor.
Pip Pip Pip. Ljuden lät avlägsna men ändå tydligt. Jag kunde fortfarande inte öppna ögonen men jag kände närvaron av en varm själ.
“Vart är jag”? Mumlade jag.
“Harry, hur mår du”? Jag kände igen rösten men inte helt riktigt. Den var för vuxen för att vara hans.
“Eh, ont i huvudet och i sidan”. Jag kved till av smärtan som slog till i lungorna när jag pratade.
“Jag kallar efter doktor”. Synen blev bättre och jag hann precis se ryggen på personen som varit i mitt rum. Han var inte så lång så han kunde inte varit mycket yngre än mig. Han hade platt brunt hår men det kunde lika gärna vara lockigt blont. Vem vet min syn var ju fortfarande suddig.
Efter en kort stund kom en lång man in i rummet, först stod han bara och tittade på mig och sen suckand han djupt.
“Då ska vi se, jag ska göra några tester och sen får du åka hem”. Jag nickade och manen gick ut. Jag vände blicken till manen som stod i dörröppningen och såg på mig med ledsna ögon. Nu var min syn tillbaka och jag kunde se honom klart. Som sagt var han ganska kort och hade platt brunt hår, troligen plattat med plattång. Han hade blåa ögon som troligen brukade vara glada men just nu var dom fyllda med sorg.
“Förlåt att jag frågar, men vem är du”? Någon sekund efter jag frågade det önskade jag att jag bara hållit tyst. Tårar hade fyllt ögonen på manen och nu svämmade dom över. Han slog händerna för sitt ansikte och jag hörde hans snyftningar.
“Förlåt jag menar inte”. Jag satte mig upp även fast smärtan var hemsk. Jag ställde mig upp och gick fram till honom. Det tog bara en sekunds tvekan innan jag slog armarna om manen. Där var den igen, den där känslan som säger att jag vet vem det här är. “Louis förlåt att jag glömde dig”. Han stannade till mitt i en snyftning och tittade upp på mig.
“Du kommer ihåg, jag trodde du hade glömt mig”. Han kramade om mig och begravde sitt huvud i min nacke.
“Ja glömma dig? Nej jag trodde du hade glömt mig eller något eftersom att du aldrig kom tillbaka”. Jag puttade ifrån mig från Louis och tittade på honom med stora ögon.
“Jaha du menar det. Nej jag försökte komma tillbaka men jag kunde inte”. Louis tittade ner i golvet.
“Det är lugnt. Vi är ju tillsammans nu”. Jag satte två fingrar under hans haka så att han tittade upp på mig. “Jag har saknat dig så mycket”. Jag lade min panna emot Louis och log.
“Jag har saknat dig med”.
School, friends or love? part 5
Emmas perspektiv:
Bild lektionerna brukade gå snabbt, men den här gick extremt snabbt. I slutet av lektionen var det fortfarande några som inte hade börjat rita, själv var jag nästan klar.
"Okey class it's time to put things together. I want you leave your pictures here on the desk so I can see who has been here". Zayn pekade på katedern och log. Det var inte förren då jag fick panik. jag hade ju ritat Zayn, vad skulle han säga?
"Are you okey". Moa viftade med ena handen framför ögonen på mig och knäppte med fingrarna.
"Eh what"? Jag skakade på huvudet och tittade sen på henne.
"You are looking like you've seen a ghost". Moa skrattade till samtidigt som hon plockade undan några pennor.
Emelies perspektiv:
"Hey look at Emma, she looks a bit pale". Jag och dom andra två började fnissa och fortsatte med bort plockningen.
Bild lektionerna brukade gå snabbt, men den här gick extremt snabbt. I slutet av lektionen var det fortfarande några som inte hade börjat rita, själv var jag nästan klar.
"Okey class it's time to put things together. I want you leave your pictures here on the desk so I can see who has been here". Zayn pekade på katedern och log. Det var inte förren då jag fick panik. jag hade ju ritat Zayn, vad skulle han säga?
"Are you okey". Moa viftade med ena handen framför ögonen på mig och knäppte med fingrarna.
"Eh what"? Jag skakade på huvudet och tittade sen på henne.
"You are looking like you've seen a ghost". Moa skrattade till samtidigt som hon plockade undan några pennor.
Emelies perspektiv:
"Hey look at Emma, she looks a bit pale". Jag och dom andra två började fnissa och fortsatte med bort plockningen.
Moas perspektiv:
"They are laughing at us again". Jag suckade och tittade på Emma.
"Yea". Hon tittade ner på sin bild och sen på Zayn som stod och tog emot bilder av folk.Han log emot alla och visst han var fin men inte något speciellt.
"Come on, lets get out of here". Emma nickade och vi ställde oss upp.
Jag räckte fram min bild utan att blinka men Emma rodnade och skyndade sig ut efter hon lade bilden i högen. När jag tittade på bilden fick jag se ett perfekt porträtt av Zayn, visst det var en skiss men man såg att det var han in i minsta linje. Då förstod jag varför hon inte ville visa den. Jag log för mig själv och gick ut bakom Elin och Caroline.
Det blev lunch och lektioner igen.
Emelies perspektiv:
"I don't want to have gymnastic". Jag suckade djupt samtidigt som jag drog av mig det gula linnet och drog fram en blåvit luftig t-shirt.
"Who wants to"? Skrattade Elin som stod i bara Canada mjukis och bh.
"Well I think that we have a new teatcher". Carro satt redan ombytt och tittade på dom andra tjejerna.
"We have"? Jag tittade undrande på Carro och såklart skulle jag tappa balansen och snubblade till.
"Take it easy, I heard that he was hot so don't die". Carro började att fnissa och log stort.
"Haha verry funny". Jag och Elin bytte om innan vi gick in i salen. Den såg ut som förra året, inget omändrat eller något. Eller jo istället för en gammal gubbe med svettiga tröjor som brukade stå och vänta på oss stod det nu en snygg ung kille i mitten av salen. Han var inte mycket äldre än oss och han var vältränad. Vitt linne som avslöjade magrutorna och röda mjukisbyxor.
"It's him". Carro tittade på honom med stora ögon samtidigt som vi ställde oss längs väggen.
"Who"?
"Liam I think".
"He saved Carro from Mikael" Elin tittade med lika förvånad blick på honom som Caroline.
"Hello class, I'm Liam Payne. But please call me Liam". Han log och nästan alla tjejer smälte.
"I think that I'll like this lessons from now on". Jag tittade på Carro och flinade.
School, friends, love: del 4
Ingens perspektiv:
Dagen gick vidare, tjejerna mötte inte några nya mystiska killar men vem vet vad morgondagen har att bjuda?
Carolines perspektiv:
Jag satt på bussen till skolan och tittade ut genom fönstret och hade "Love Me For Me- Cher Lloyd" pumpandes i hörlurarna. Bussen kändes instängd och luktade svett. Tur nog vad jag snart framme.
Bussen stannade och jag klev av. Jag möttes av två glada personer.
"Elin, Emelie". Jag kramade om båda två och tog ur hörlurarna och log.
"How was the bus"? Flinade Emelie.
"Haha, verry funny". Svarade jag ironiskt.
"Aww you know we love you". Elin kramade om mig och jag kunde inte låta bli att le. Vi tog sällskap in i skolan och fram till skåpen.
Emelies perspektiv:
Jag öppnade skåpet och en våg av instängd doft slog emot mig.
"Ugh". Jag rynkade snabbt på näsan och drog snabbt ur ritblocket, penna och sudd.
"Do we have drawing lessons now"? Elin tittade förvånat på mig,. Jag gav henne bara en "Men-hur-borta-är-du" blick och log.
"Yea and here I thought that I was the sick one". Alla tre skrattade i kör och log till varandra innan vi gick vidare.
Vid bildsalen stod det redan några elever som väntade på att få komma in.
Emmas perspektiv:
Shit shit shit SHIT, jag är sen. Jag sprang ner för korridoren bort till bilden när jag inser att jag måste springa förbi skåpet. Stannar tvärt, vänder mig om, springer tillbaka. Väl framme vid skåpet rycker jag upp nyckeln och låser upp. Jag slänger in jeansjackan och väskan samtidigt som jag drar ut block, penna och sudd. (Multitasking for the win). Jag slänger igen skåpet och börjar springa igen.
Vid bildsalen hade folk precis börjat få in i klassrummet så det betydde att jag inte var sen, vilket var tur. När jag kom in sneglade jag runt och fick syn på Moa som satt längst fram i högra hörnet. Hon hade redan börjat skissa när jag satte mig bredvid henne.
"Tough morning"? Frågar hon utan att titta upp ur blocket.
"Yea, my alarmclock didn't ring". Jag torkade svetten ur pannan och tittade upp precis lagom för att se Zayn kliva in genom dörren. Mitt hjärta började pumpa snabbare och jag kände rodnaden komma.
"Isn't that Zayn or what his name was from yeaterday"? Moa tittade på mig och jag nickade bara utan att släppa blicken från honom.
"Godmorning clas". Hans röst var så mjuk.
"Morning". Svarade alla.
"Where's Mrs.Langood"? Det vad Kristin som hade ställt frågan".
"Mrs.Langood is sick and I'm going to be here instead. I'm Zayn Malik but please call me Zayn". Han log emot klassen och jag kunde höra några tjejer bakom oss fnittra. "Today you're going to draw whatever you want couse I didn't prepare this lesson".
Klassen nickade och drog upp blocken. Vissa visste tydligen precis vad dom skulle måla men för vissa tog det längre tid.
För min del gick det ganska fort att bestämma.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Det blev ett relativt kort inlägg men jag ska iväg och fira brorsans födelsedag.
School, friends, love: del 3
Emmas perspektiv:
Det var lunch och jag satt ute med Moa vid fotbollsplanens läktare och åt. Moa hade en Cesarsallad och jag hade mina vanliga smörgåsar men nutella.
Nere på planen spelade några killar ifrån våran klass fotboll.
"It's sooooo warm". Jag fläckade mig med min hand men det blev inte svalare för det.
"Take off your hoodie then"? Moa tittade på mig och skrattade.
"Haha verry funny". Jag ställde mig upp och Började dra av mig hoodien när jag tappade ballansen och ramlade till.
"Aah"! Det fördes en hög duns när jag slog i läktaren.
"Are you okey"? Moa satte sig bredvid mig och hjälpte mig upp.
"Ouch! That hurt".
"Are you okey"? Det var en mansröst bakom oss som pratade. Vi vände oss och fick se en lång mörkhyad kille som jag inte kände igen. Fast solen var i vägen kunde jag inte se ansiktet.
"Yea. I'm just a bit clumsy sometimes". Jag började skratta och kände hur jag började rodna.
"Here". Han räckte fram handel emot mig, jag tog tag i den och han hjälpte mig upp.
"Thanks".
"I'm Zayn, and you are"? Nu när jag stod upp såg jag bättre hans ansiktsdrag. Han hade skarp käklinje, hans hår var perfekt liggandes åt sidan och ögonen var mörkbruna.
"I'm Emma and this is Moa".
"Nice to met you". Zayn log emot oss innan det hördes en ny röst.
"Are you comming Zayn"? Vi tittade ner på planen och fick syn på kille med brunt lockigt hår.
"Yea take it easy". Han vände sig om mot mig igen. "Are you sure you're okey"?
Jag nickade och log innan han vände sig om och gick ner till killen med lockigt hår.
Zayn perspektiv:
"Who was that"? Harry tittade först på mig och sen på Emma och Moa.
"I have no idea, but I hope that I'll have her in the drawing class". Jag kastade en snabb blick upp emot Emma och log. "Come on I'm hungry, Oh god I sound like Niall".
"Well then it's best if we'll find some food for you". Harry skrattade och jag kunde inte låta bli att le.
Moas perspektiv:
"Aaaaw you're blushing". Jag tittade på Emma som tittade på Emma som hade samma färg som en tomat i ansiktet.
"No I'm not". Jag tittade ner i marken och drog av mig hoodien. "It's just so warm.
"Yea, yea. Let's eat before we die". Vi satte oss ner igen och började prata om ingenting igen.
----------------------------------------------------------------Tipp tapp tipp tapp tippetippe tipp tapp tipp tipp tapp :D Vilket liv man har? :D
School, friends, love: del 2
Nialls perspektiv:
Jag plockade upp gitarren och började spela på Firework av Katy Perry. Efter första tonen började alla le, dom flesta hängde också på när jag börja sjunga.
Tonerna dog bort men alla fortsatte att le.
"I'm here just for making this lessons fun and stuff. Were are going to sing a lot more than before. I hope you don't mind". Dom flesta jublade och log.
Vi spelade några låtar tills klockan ringde och klassrummet tömdes.
Carolines prespektiv:
Jag och Elin gick ner till skåpen.
"Gaaaaah, I'm starving. What's for lunch"? Jag gav Elen en ledsen blick och bet henne lite löst i axeln.
"I have nooooo idea". Elin skrattade till och öppnade sitt skåp och slängde in böckerna. "Lets go and see".
Vi tog armkrok och gick bort i den elevfyllda korridoren.
Inne i matsalen var det fullt av elever och lärare. Vi ställde oss i matkön och tittade runt.
"Hey, there's that Niall guy from music class". Elin pekade bort till ett bort där mycket riktigt, Niall satt, men han satt inte ensam. Han hade sällskap av fyra andra killar. Jag kunde inte personligen se allas ansikten men jag kunde se att dom skrattade.
"Oh god, this look awful". Vi tittade på maten och jag fick nästan kväljningar. Någon grön gegga, I lovar att den rörde på sig.
Vi gick ur kön och gick tillbaka till skåpen.
"I have some money, wanna go to McDonald's"?
"Sure". Jag öppnade skåpet och tog ut min jacka
Vi gick ut och började gå neråt till centrum. På vägen såg vi Mikaels gäng stå vid sina moppar.
"Ska ni någonstans"? Ropade dom efter oss. Vi fortsatte att gå utan att titta på dom. Jag kände hur någon tog tag i min handled och snurrade runt mig.
"I asked if you're going somewhere". Det var Mikael som hade tagit tag i mig.
"Please let go". Jag kände hur modet svek mig och jag blev rädd.
"Let her go". Det var någon som kom gående emot oss. Det var en av killarna som suttit med Niall vid lunchen.
"Why would I"? Han stod nu framför Mikael. Han hade kort vågit hår, hans ögon var hasselbruna och var strängt spända i Mikaels gröna.
"Because I say so". Mikaels grepp blev lösare och jag drog bort min arm. Mikael vände sig om och gick bort till sin moppe.
"Thank you". Jag log emot denna mystiska pojke. Han var lite längre än mig och ganska muskulös.
"I'm Liam". Han sträckte fram handen och log. Jag stod bara och gapade tills Elin armbågade mig lätt i sidan.
"Oh, I'm Caroline". Jag kände hur det brändes på kinderna och tittade ner i marken.
Vi sa hejdå och fortsatte att gå mot centrum.
"Oh goood, he was so cute". Det var ju sant men jag vågade inte titta på Elin. Jag hörde hur hon fnissade mig och gav mig en kram.
"You're in love".
"No I'm not, I just said he was cute". Jag putade ifrån mig Elin och tittade surt på henne. Det höll inte länge, snart skrattade vi och pratade på om ingenting.
---------------------------------------------Som sagt går det ganska trögt men men >w< säg till om det blir för segt >w<
School, friends, love: del 1
Elins perspektiv:
Jag klev in i den unkna skolbyggnaden efter ett långt avslappnade sommarlov. Visst hade jag saknat Caroline och Emelie, eftersom Caroline hade åkt till Sverige för att spela någon golfliga eller något och Emelie hade varit hos sin mormor i Irland. Men nu skulle jag få träffa allihopa igen.
Jag kom fram till mitt unkna gröna skåp den sista metern sprang jag när jag såg Carolines långa ryggtavla och kramade om henne. Jag skulle känna igen hennes blonda hår överallt.
"Caroline, I've missed you sooooooooo much". Jag släppte taget på henne så att hon kunde snurra runt.
"Elin". Hon log stort mot mig och gav mig en snabb kram innan vi öppnade våra skåp.
"How did it go". Frågade jag uppspelt.
"Second place but I'm happy with it". Hon log och drog fram sin kemi bok och anteckningsblock.
"Congrats" Jag log emot henne och försökte dra ut min kemi bok.
Vi stängde skåpen och gick upp emot Kemi salarna. Dom hade gjort om lite granna, fast inte mycket, målat i färger och bytt ut lampor och bord som var trasiga.
"But where's Emelie"? Jag skämdes nästan för att jag inte hade tänkt på henne innan.
"Oh, I don't know I can send her a text". Caroline drog snabbt upp mobilen ur fickan och knappade in ett snabbt sms till Emelie.
Lika snabbt fick hon också ett svar.
"She's sick but she'll be back tomorrow". Hon la ner mobilen och öppnade dörren till klassrummet. Jag nickade och följde med henne in.
Lite längre bort i rummet (på min, Carros och Emelies vanliga platser) satt nu Emma och Moa. Jag kastade dom en blick innan jag och Carro smet in på stolarna näst näst bak vid väggen med dörren. Vilket var extremt dumt för att efter halva lektionen kunde man inte se klockan. Lektionen gick och jag trodde att jag skulle dö. Varför en och en halv timmes Kemi på morgonen. Det var inte rättvist.
Klockan ringde och klassrummet tömdes på elever på bara några sekunder.
Moas pespektiv:
Efter lektionen drog jag nästan Emmas arm ur led när vi sprang ner för korridoren till musiksalen.
"Take it easy, you're killing me". Emma skrattade lite lätt och jag saktade ner.
"But I want to siiiiiiiing".
"Open the door then". Igen så skrattade hon åt min knasighet.
Jag öppnade dörren men jag fann inte ett tomt klassrum som det brukar vara. Där inne stod en Blond kille, lite äldre än oss, och spelade gitarr. Han hade fina ansiktsdrag och så men.
Han tittade upp ifrån nothäftet som låg framför oss och tittade på mig med klarblåa ögon.
"Oh sorry". Jag backade och skulle precis stänka dörren när Mr.Evens (våran musik lärare) kom fram till oss och öppnade den igen.
"Hello girls I see that you've already met Mr.Horan". Han ledde in oss och ställde sig bakom pianot som stod längst fram i klassrummet.
Eleverna kom in och satte sig i halvcirkeln med stolar. Jag och Emma satte oss närmast dörren och rodnade.
"Godmorning class". Det var Mr.Evens djupa och höga stämma som fick folket att vakna till liv.
"Godmorning Mr.Evens". Svarade alla i kör.
"This is Mr.Horan, but you can tell who you are by yourself". Han nickade till den blonda killen och log.
"Like Mr.Evens said, my name is Niall Horan but please call me Niall. I went to this school for three years ago and now me and some of my friends are back to help with some stuff". Han log och en rad med raka vita tänder visade sig.
--------------------------------------------------Detta är första delen av min fan fiction (:
Who will it be? Part 9
Ojdå förlåt att det har tagit ett tag sen jag skrev menjag har skrivit på en annan som jag vill få klart, men det kommer den nog inte >w< men nu finns part 9 uppe :D
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Josephines POV:
Jag orkade inte gå till skolan på torsdagen och eftersom att morsan är bra på att se när jag ljuger kände jag mig nästan stolt när jag satte fingrarna i halsen och jag fick upp lite mat. Nu behövde jag inte ljuga om att jag hade spytt häller.
“Mami! Jag kan inte gå till skolan idag, jag har spytt”. Morsan kom in springandes på toaletten där jag satt lutad över toalettsittsen.
“Pero cuando el bebé”. (Älskling då). Hon satte sig på huk och tog undan mitt hår från ansiktet.
“Hur mår du”? Hon tittade på mig med en ledsen blick.
“Hemskt, jag vill verkligen inte gå till skolan idag”. En våg av skuldkänslor slog över mig och ögonen fylldes av tårar som inte ville rinna ner.
“Okej gå och lägg dig så ringer jag till skolan.
Nialls POV:
När Josephine inte stod på busshållplatsen trodde jag först att hon stod vid nästa som hon också kunde ta men nu när hon inte står där blir jag lite smått nervös.
Jag drog upp mobilen ur fickan och knappade in Josephines nummer. På displayen visades en bild på Josephine när hon sitter vid pianot och sjunger. Det ringde men ingen svarade. Jag började få lite panik men när jag kände att någon satte sig bredvid mig fick jag ett leende på läpparna. Jag vände mig om och fick se… Louis.
“Tjäänaaaaah Nialler, zup’”? Louis rufsade om mitt hår och log stort.
“Hej Lou”. Jag tittade tillbaka ner på mobilen och skulle precis trycka ner ett sms till Josephine när mobilen började vibrera.
“Nähä men dö inte av överansträgning”. Skämtade Louis och drog sina hörlurar runt huvudet.
På displayen via det bilden på Josephine. Jag svarade utan att tänka.
“Vart fan är du”?
“Hej Ni, jag skippar skolan idag, orkar inte med ditt gäng idag, men säg inget och lycka till med repandet idag”. Hennes röst var tom men man hörde små syftningar i bakgrunden.
“Okej, krya”. Var allt jag kunde få fram. Vi sa hejdå och la på.
Väl inne på min första lektion med Louis, Liam och Harry började killarna titta sig omkring. Harry såg lite lätt nervös ut och Liam satt och tittade på dörren med några sekunders mellanrum.
“Vart är din flickvän Ni”? Det var Louis som hade slängt ut kommentaren.
“Vi är inte tillsammans om det är Josephine som du menar. Och jag vet inte. Hon sa ju att hon skulle göra er en tjänst och gå och ta livet av sig så jag vet inte. Hon svarar inte i mobilen”. Jag tittade ner i Engelska boken och fortsatte att läsa.
-----------------------
Josephines POV:
Jag orkade inte gå till skolan på torsdagen och eftersom att morsan är bra på att se när jag ljuger kände jag mig nästan stolt när jag satte fingrarna i halsen och jag fick upp lite mat. Nu behövde jag inte ljuga om att jag hade spytt häller.
“Mami! Jag kan inte gå till skolan idag, jag har spytt”. Morsan kom in springandes på toaletten där jag satt lutad över toalettsittsen.
“Pero cuando el bebé”. (Älskling då). Hon satte sig på huk och tog undan mitt hår från ansiktet.
“Hur mår du”? Hon tittade på mig med en ledsen blick.
“Hemskt, jag vill verkligen inte gå till skolan idag”. En våg av skuldkänslor slog över mig och ögonen fylldes av tårar som inte ville rinna ner.
“Okej gå och lägg dig så ringer jag till skolan.
Nialls POV:
När Josephine inte stod på busshållplatsen trodde jag först att hon stod vid nästa som hon också kunde ta men nu när hon inte står där blir jag lite smått nervös.
Jag drog upp mobilen ur fickan och knappade in Josephines nummer. På displayen visades en bild på Josephine när hon sitter vid pianot och sjunger. Det ringde men ingen svarade. Jag började få lite panik men när jag kände att någon satte sig bredvid mig fick jag ett leende på läpparna. Jag vände mig om och fick se… Louis.
“Tjäänaaaaah Nialler, zup’”? Louis rufsade om mitt hår och log stort.
“Hej Lou”. Jag tittade tillbaka ner på mobilen och skulle precis trycka ner ett sms till Josephine när mobilen började vibrera.
“Nähä men dö inte av överansträgning”. Skämtade Louis och drog sina hörlurar runt huvudet.
På displayen via det bilden på Josephine. Jag svarade utan att tänka.
“Vart fan är du”?
“Hej Ni, jag skippar skolan idag, orkar inte med ditt gäng idag, men säg inget och lycka till med repandet idag”. Hennes röst var tom men man hörde små syftningar i bakgrunden.
“Okej, krya”. Var allt jag kunde få fram. Vi sa hejdå och la på.
Väl inne på min första lektion med Louis, Liam och Harry började killarna titta sig omkring. Harry såg lite lätt nervös ut och Liam satt och tittade på dörren med några sekunders mellanrum.
“Vart är din flickvän Ni”? Det var Louis som hade slängt ut kommentaren.
“Vi är inte tillsammans om det är Josephine som du menar. Och jag vet inte. Hon sa ju att hon skulle göra er en tjänst och gå och ta livet av sig så jag vet inte. Hon svarar inte i mobilen”. Jag tittade ner i Engelska boken och fortsatte att läsa.
My withered Flower - Ziall Day 1 - 9
JAG BEHÖVER HJÄLP!!!! öubjokgrafvzjäipknl-gwrfs z
Nej men fast jo...
Jag la in en teaser igår men nu har jag skrivit fast om fantasin tog slut
Ni får gärna läsa det jag skrivit hit tills och hjälpa mig med att komma vidare >w<
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Day 1:
You’re gone and you’ll never come back. I’ll never see that perfect smile och hear your smooth voice. I couldn’t handle it, it was to much…
It's been 24 hours since you left us… since you left me.
I ran one hand through my blond hair. I sighted and stood up from the same chair that I’ve been sitting in for the last 24 hours. I didn’t want to leave the room where you was the last time I saw you.
Even if it was horrible to see what you became this last months of your life.
“You okej Ni?” Liam stood in the door looking at me.
“No, I’m not. I’ll never be okey again.” I walked past Liam and down the hospital hall. I just wanted to be home again. I didn’t want to be here.
Back in my apartment I locked myself inside and let out my tears. I didn’t want to cry in public but now I was alone and no one could see how I broke down.
“Why did you take him from me?” I was shouting, I didn’t rally know to who but I guess it was to God.
I fell into my sofa with all my cloths on and shoes. I was to tired of all crying that I didn’t care.
My tears didn’t stop as I expected so I cried myself to sleep.
Day 2:
I woke up in the sofa. I had been sleeping for 14 hours and I was still tired.
As I sat up I felt a headache come. “Oh god, I’ve not been drinking for days now” I thought to myself. I walked into the kitchen and saw a plate with some food on the bench. I wasn’t hungry so walked by it without even looking to it. It was probably Liam who had made it for me so I felt a bit guilty but I didn’t care.
That day I didn’t do so much more than watch old clips from x-factor and every time you sang I fell back in tears.
Again I fell in the sofa with the tv playing “Tell me a lie” on repeat.
Day 3:
“Oh God Niall you have to get up”. Liam sat on the table in front of the sofa looking at me.
“I don’t want to”. I laid still hoping that he would go away.
“Ni you haven’t eat anything for days and you smell like shit. What would Zayn say if he was here”? When Liam mentioned Zayn I was brought back to life.
Tears started to appear in my eyes as I sat up.
“I’m so sorry Niall”. Liam grabbed me and gave me a tight hug. I didn’t want to be there, I wanted to be with Zayn and on one else.
“I’m so sorry Ni, but you really have to get ready for Zayns funeral”. I whipped away my tears and stood up.
“Okey”. I walked into the bathroom just get a a huge chock when I looked at myself in the mirror.
“Oh God it this what I look like right now”. My eyes was so red and puffy it hurted. My hair stood in all angles and stuff.
I took of my clothes and took a quick shower. It felt good to be clean again. I dressed with one of Zayns black shirts and my black jeans.
As I walked into Liams flat I didn’t care that the other guys looked at the shirt.
“Isn’t that Zayns”? Louis looked at me and I just gave him a nod and sat down in the chain next to the window.
On the funeral I cried, I cried my heart out and I just hated to see Zayns pale face. He looked so clam even without his hair.
After half the funeral I had to leave, I couldn’t be there. So I just left, without telling someone.
I walked around in the city, I didn’t care about some fans that was screaming my name.
One girl that I passed just gave me a hug and whispered that she was sorry. For some reason I felt kind of happy that she wasn’t like everyone else.
I walked home to Sean. I knew that he wasn’t home but I had a spare key to his house and I didn’t want to see the other lads to see me.
Day 4:
I woke up with 26 missed calls and 94 texts. 90% of them was from Liam, 5% from Louis, 3% from Harry and 2% from Paul.
I didn’t want to see any of them today so I turned of my phone and went to see it I could find some other clothes. I was still wearing Zayns shirt after I changed.
Again I spend my day in front of the tv listening to old songs and watched old interviews.
Day 5:
I woke up when I heard knocks on the door. It was probably Liam, I didn’t want to see him but I got up and walked to the door. When I open the door it wasn’t Liam, it was Louis. He looked destroyed with messed up clothes and his hair all over the place.
“Oh Ni”. He fell into my arms. We walked inside and I closed the door.
“Where the fuck have you been? We’ve been so worried about you”. Louis pulled away and looked at me.
“I’ve been here all the time”.
“Why haven’t you called back”? I let go of Louis and walked away.
“I didn’t want you to see me like this”. I stood by the window and looked on the leaves that flew through the air.
“Like that? Oh come on Niall what would Zayn say if he saw you-”.
“He’s not here, hie dead and will never dome back”. I walked past Louis and out to the street. As Louis followed me I started to run. I ran away from him and from the truth.
“Niall”! Louis ran after me but sense I was fasted than him I was gone in seconds.
Day 6:
I’d been walking around all night. Sure I had an empty bottle of Whisky in hand but still.
What would zayn say if he saw me now? I had to make up for him.
I walked to our apartments, I just hoped that nobody was home. To my surprise no one was, so I walked to my flat and walked inside. It was weird to be back but it was just for now.
I took a quick shower. I walked into Zayns room, I grabbed one of his howdies and a pair of his brown chinos. I took my wallet and took my shoes.
As I walked outside I knocked into Harry.
“Oh god Ni, where the fuck have you been”?
“Nowhere”. I walked past him and down the hall. I was quit happy that he didn’t follow me.
I walked down to the flower shop and bought a pair of roses.
It was a long walk to the graveyard but I didn’t want to take the buss.
By the time I came to Zayns grave it was dark. I hadn’t seen his grave before this but it was beautiful. Just like him. I sat down and laid the roses on the grave. I wanted to talk to you so bad, feel your touch to my skin.
“Zayn if you can hear me I want you to know some stuff. I miss you, more then you can expect. I know that I should be with the boys and help them but I can’t. Every time I see them without you in the middle I’ll fall to tears. I know that I’m weak and that I should be stronger but I can’t… I need you”. I started to sing “Your Guardian Angel”, in the middle of the song I could hear your sweet, sweet voice.
I fell asleep next to your gravestone, next to you.
Day 7:
I woke up when I felt a hand on my shoulder but I was to cold and to tired to open my eyes so they stayed closed.
“Pick him up and that him to the car”. I guessed it was Paul who lifted me up. I remembered the smell of him, the feeling of security fell over me.
Day 8:
I woke up again in my room. It was 5.27 am, so I wasn’t really for go up bur I had been sleeping for the whole day.
I got up and looked at myself in the mirror. I was really pale and skinny, I haven’t had a real meal for a week now. Gosh I looked disgusting.
In the kitchen someone had made me some food. I could guess it was Paul sense it was pancakes.
Later on that day the guys knocked at my door but I didn’t open it sense I was laying on the floor passed out. They would see that I didn’t even poked the food.
Day 9:
This time I woke up in a hospital room. Or I thought so at least. The only thing that was in the room was a bed, a table, a chair and my green bag. There was also a mirror so I stood up and looked at the pale, skinny, disgusting boy in the mirror.
“Is that really me”?
“Yea”. I turned around ans saw Liam in the doorway.
“Where am I”?
“McGricks hospital for psychic kids”. Liam look was at the ground with a sad face.
“Why am I here? I’m fine”.
“Fine?! You haven’t eaten sense Zayn died, you’re drinking at night and God knows where you disappeared to”. Liam watched me as a tear fell down his cheek.
“I’m sorry that I don’t want to do anything. I’ve lost Zayn, one of the few that really loved me. I love him”! I felt the anger gre inside of me. How could they put me here? Sure I had it tough, but didn’t all of us have it?
I went straight up to Liam and started to him him.
“I don’t want to be here, I’m fine, I shouldn’t be here”. Liam didn’t move, he just stood there waiting for me to give up. Sense I’ve not been eating for days it didn’t take long before I was all tired. Then he reached for me and gave me a hug. He didn’t say a thing he just stood there and held me tight.
“Just give it a try, okey”? I didn’t say yes but he took my silence as a yes.
The rest of the day I met alot of people who asked me alot of stuff. I didn’t answer to them all I did was looking out the windows.
That evening I was crying more than ever. I felt more alone than ever. I cried myself to sleep again.
Nej men fast jo...
Jag la in en teaser igår men nu har jag skrivit fast om fantasin tog slut
Ni får gärna läsa det jag skrivit hit tills och hjälpa mig med att komma vidare >w<
-----------------------------
Day 1:
You’re gone and you’ll never come back. I’ll never see that perfect smile och hear your smooth voice. I couldn’t handle it, it was to much…
It's been 24 hours since you left us… since you left me.
I ran one hand through my blond hair. I sighted and stood up from the same chair that I’ve been sitting in for the last 24 hours. I didn’t want to leave the room where you was the last time I saw you.
Even if it was horrible to see what you became this last months of your life.
“You okej Ni?” Liam stood in the door looking at me.
“No, I’m not. I’ll never be okey again.” I walked past Liam and down the hospital hall. I just wanted to be home again. I didn’t want to be here.
Back in my apartment I locked myself inside and let out my tears. I didn’t want to cry in public but now I was alone and no one could see how I broke down.
“Why did you take him from me?” I was shouting, I didn’t rally know to who but I guess it was to God.
I fell into my sofa with all my cloths on and shoes. I was to tired of all crying that I didn’t care.
My tears didn’t stop as I expected so I cried myself to sleep.
Day 2:
I woke up in the sofa. I had been sleeping for 14 hours and I was still tired.
As I sat up I felt a headache come. “Oh god, I’ve not been drinking for days now” I thought to myself. I walked into the kitchen and saw a plate with some food on the bench. I wasn’t hungry so walked by it without even looking to it. It was probably Liam who had made it for me so I felt a bit guilty but I didn’t care.
That day I didn’t do so much more than watch old clips from x-factor and every time you sang I fell back in tears.
Again I fell in the sofa with the tv playing “Tell me a lie” on repeat.
Day 3:
“Oh God Niall you have to get up”. Liam sat on the table in front of the sofa looking at me.
“I don’t want to”. I laid still hoping that he would go away.
“Ni you haven’t eat anything for days and you smell like shit. What would Zayn say if he was here”? When Liam mentioned Zayn I was brought back to life.
Tears started to appear in my eyes as I sat up.
“I’m so sorry Niall”. Liam grabbed me and gave me a tight hug. I didn’t want to be there, I wanted to be with Zayn and on one else.
“I’m so sorry Ni, but you really have to get ready for Zayns funeral”. I whipped away my tears and stood up.
“Okey”. I walked into the bathroom just get a a huge chock when I looked at myself in the mirror.
“Oh God it this what I look like right now”. My eyes was so red and puffy it hurted. My hair stood in all angles and stuff.
I took of my clothes and took a quick shower. It felt good to be clean again. I dressed with one of Zayns black shirts and my black jeans.
As I walked into Liams flat I didn’t care that the other guys looked at the shirt.
“Isn’t that Zayns”? Louis looked at me and I just gave him a nod and sat down in the chain next to the window.
On the funeral I cried, I cried my heart out and I just hated to see Zayns pale face. He looked so clam even without his hair.
After half the funeral I had to leave, I couldn’t be there. So I just left, without telling someone.
I walked around in the city, I didn’t care about some fans that was screaming my name.
One girl that I passed just gave me a hug and whispered that she was sorry. For some reason I felt kind of happy that she wasn’t like everyone else.
I walked home to Sean. I knew that he wasn’t home but I had a spare key to his house and I didn’t want to see the other lads to see me.
Day 4:
I woke up with 26 missed calls and 94 texts. 90% of them was from Liam, 5% from Louis, 3% from Harry and 2% from Paul.
I didn’t want to see any of them today so I turned of my phone and went to see it I could find some other clothes. I was still wearing Zayns shirt after I changed.
Again I spend my day in front of the tv listening to old songs and watched old interviews.
Day 5:
I woke up when I heard knocks on the door. It was probably Liam, I didn’t want to see him but I got up and walked to the door. When I open the door it wasn’t Liam, it was Louis. He looked destroyed with messed up clothes and his hair all over the place.
“Oh Ni”. He fell into my arms. We walked inside and I closed the door.
“Where the fuck have you been? We’ve been so worried about you”. Louis pulled away and looked at me.
“I’ve been here all the time”.
“Why haven’t you called back”? I let go of Louis and walked away.
“I didn’t want you to see me like this”. I stood by the window and looked on the leaves that flew through the air.
“Like that? Oh come on Niall what would Zayn say if he saw you-”.
“He’s not here, hie dead and will never dome back”. I walked past Louis and out to the street. As Louis followed me I started to run. I ran away from him and from the truth.
“Niall”! Louis ran after me but sense I was fasted than him I was gone in seconds.
Day 6:
I’d been walking around all night. Sure I had an empty bottle of Whisky in hand but still.
What would zayn say if he saw me now? I had to make up for him.
I walked to our apartments, I just hoped that nobody was home. To my surprise no one was, so I walked to my flat and walked inside. It was weird to be back but it was just for now.
I took a quick shower. I walked into Zayns room, I grabbed one of his howdies and a pair of his brown chinos. I took my wallet and took my shoes.
As I walked outside I knocked into Harry.
“Oh god Ni, where the fuck have you been”?
“Nowhere”. I walked past him and down the hall. I was quit happy that he didn’t follow me.
I walked down to the flower shop and bought a pair of roses.
It was a long walk to the graveyard but I didn’t want to take the buss.
By the time I came to Zayns grave it was dark. I hadn’t seen his grave before this but it was beautiful. Just like him. I sat down and laid the roses on the grave. I wanted to talk to you so bad, feel your touch to my skin.
“Zayn if you can hear me I want you to know some stuff. I miss you, more then you can expect. I know that I should be with the boys and help them but I can’t. Every time I see them without you in the middle I’ll fall to tears. I know that I’m weak and that I should be stronger but I can’t… I need you”. I started to sing “Your Guardian Angel”, in the middle of the song I could hear your sweet, sweet voice.
I fell asleep next to your gravestone, next to you.
Day 7:
I woke up when I felt a hand on my shoulder but I was to cold and to tired to open my eyes so they stayed closed.
“Pick him up and that him to the car”. I guessed it was Paul who lifted me up. I remembered the smell of him, the feeling of security fell over me.
Day 8:
I woke up again in my room. It was 5.27 am, so I wasn’t really for go up bur I had been sleeping for the whole day.
I got up and looked at myself in the mirror. I was really pale and skinny, I haven’t had a real meal for a week now. Gosh I looked disgusting.
In the kitchen someone had made me some food. I could guess it was Paul sense it was pancakes.
Later on that day the guys knocked at my door but I didn’t open it sense I was laying on the floor passed out. They would see that I didn’t even poked the food.
Day 9:
This time I woke up in a hospital room. Or I thought so at least. The only thing that was in the room was a bed, a table, a chair and my green bag. There was also a mirror so I stood up and looked at the pale, skinny, disgusting boy in the mirror.
“Is that really me”?
“Yea”. I turned around ans saw Liam in the doorway.
“Where am I”?
“McGricks hospital for psychic kids”. Liam look was at the ground with a sad face.
“Why am I here? I’m fine”.
“Fine?! You haven’t eaten sense Zayn died, you’re drinking at night and God knows where you disappeared to”. Liam watched me as a tear fell down his cheek.
“I’m sorry that I don’t want to do anything. I’ve lost Zayn, one of the few that really loved me. I love him”! I felt the anger gre inside of me. How could they put me here? Sure I had it tough, but didn’t all of us have it?
I went straight up to Liam and started to him him.
“I don’t want to be here, I’m fine, I shouldn’t be here”. Liam didn’t move, he just stood there waiting for me to give up. Sense I’ve not been eating for days it didn’t take long before I was all tired. Then he reached for me and gave me a hug. He didn’t say a thing he just stood there and held me tight.
“Just give it a try, okey”? I didn’t say yes but he took my silence as a yes.
The rest of the day I met alot of people who asked me alot of stuff. I didn’t answer to them all I did was looking out the windows.
That evening I was crying more than ever. I felt more alone than ever. I cried myself to sleep again.
A new beginning teaser - ziall
Håller p med en lite längre Ziall one shot. Men jag vet inte om det blir bra så det skulle vara azwsome om ni läste och gav lite kritik på den (:
-----------------------------
Day 1:
You’re gone and you’ll never come back. I’ll never see that perfect smile och hear your smooth voice. I couldn’t handle it, it was to much…
It's been 24 hours since you left us… since you left me.
I ran one hand through my blond hair. I sighted and stood up from the same chair that I’ve been sitting in for the last 24 hours. I didn’t want to leave the room where you was the last time I saw you.
Even if it was horrible to see what you became this last months of your life.
“You okej Ni?” Liam stood in the door looking at me.
“No, I’m not. I’ll never be okey again.” I walked past Liam and down the hospital hall. I just wanted to be home again. I didn’t want to be here.
-----------------------------
Day 1:
You’re gone and you’ll never come back. I’ll never see that perfect smile och hear your smooth voice. I couldn’t handle it, it was to much…
It's been 24 hours since you left us… since you left me.
I ran one hand through my blond hair. I sighted and stood up from the same chair that I’ve been sitting in for the last 24 hours. I didn’t want to leave the room where you was the last time I saw you.
Even if it was horrible to see what you became this last months of your life.
“You okej Ni?” Liam stood in the door looking at me.
“No, I’m not. I’ll never be okey again.” I walked past Liam and down the hospital hall. I just wanted to be home again. I didn’t want to be here.
Nobody's home - Ziall
Hah.. This one sucked xD
Or not really I thought it was good hope you like it ^_^
I changed some of the lyrics but not so much
Nobody’s home - Avril Lavigne
———————
“Well, I couldn’t tell you
Why he felt that way
He felt it every day”
I’ve been watching him for days now.
Every time I saw him he looked sader and sader.
Everyday the same sad smile.
“And I couldn’t help him
I just watched him make
The same mistakes again”
I couldn’t do anything to make him.
I saw from distance how he went through every day the same way.
Making everything the same as the day before.
I couldn’t take it anymore.
“What’s wrong, what’s wrong now?
Too many, too many problems
Don’t know where he belongs
Where he belongs”
“Are you okey”? I went straight up to him one day. He just looked at me with sad ocean-blue eyes.
“Every thing is falling apart. I have a heart with so much problems it hurts. I don’t know where to go or where to stay”. He looked down at the ground and walked away.
“He wants to go home
But nobody’s home
That’s where he lies
Broken inside”
“Don’t you have anyone to stay with”? He stood still and started to talk without even looking at me.
“I just want to go home but I can’t. I want to but they would kill me if I went back home”.
“With no place to go
No place to go
To dry his eyes
Broken inside”
He buried his head in his hand and started so shiver.
He truly was alone with no place to go.
I could hear his crying and I felt so bad when he ran away.
“Open your eyes
And look outside
Find the reasons why”
I walked down the road just to see more people who was crying and stuff.
How could the world be like this with so much hate and sadness.
I had to know why…
“You’ve been rejected
And now you can’t find
What you’ve left behind”
He walked away from me but I needed to see him again. I had to help him.
But he was gone. I asked for him for days but he was all gone.
Was it I who left him…?
“Be strong, be strong now
Too many, too many problems
Don’t know where he belongs
Where he belongs”
He couldn’t be dead, he was strong, or so I hoped.
Even if he’s having a lot of problems he couldn’t leave me without an answer.
Where could I find him?
Where was he?
“His feelings he hides
His dreams he can’t find
He’s losing his mind
He’s falling behind”
There he was, standing on the fence of the bridge. I was standing far away from him but I could see the tears on his face.
What was he gonna do? He couldn’t jump or could he?
I could see he had so much pain inside of him.
As he stood there he started to sing.
“I can’t find my place
I’m losing my faith”
He looked down to the ground as the wind played with his blond hair.
“He’s falling from grace
He’s all over the place, yeah”
Just as I screamed after him, he just turned his head to me and shaped his lips to the word “sorry”. I saw the tears stream down his face.
“I’m goning home”. With those words he let go of the bridge and fell.
When I came to the place that he had jumped from and looked down I couldn’t see anything.
“He’s lost inside, lost inside
Oh oh
He’s lost inside, lost inside
Oh oh, oh”
He’s home now…
Who will it be? Part 8
Förlåt att jag inte la in något igår men jag var helt hjärndöd men nu är nästa del av Who will it be uppe :D
---------------------
Nialls POV:
“Vi ses senare”. Jag vinkade till Josephine som sprang iväg till sin nästa lektion.
När jag gick genom korridoren ner till Bildsalen kände jag besvikelsen komma sköljandes. Så klart skulle hon falla för Louis och inte mig.
Jag gick ner för korridoren och in i bildsalen. Zayn satt tillsammans med Liam. Louis och Harry satt säkert i något hörn och “myste”.
“Zayn, Liam”. Jag gick fram till killarna och log.
“Hur var eran dejt då”?
“Liam sitt still för fan”. Zayn satt och ritade av Liam när han satt på en stol och eftersom han inte fick röra på sig blev Zayn lite smått sur när han rörde på sig.
“Dejt”? Jag frös till och kände hur rådnanden kom smygandes.
“Ja du och Josephine eller vad hon heter”.
“Liam jag lovar att jag kommer döda dig om du rör på dig gen”.
“Det är inget någon dejt vi tränade bara okej”?
“Whatever”.
Josephines POV
Dagen gick och det vad dags att dra till dansen.
“Josephine du tappade något”. Jag ville inte stanna eftersom att jag var sen till bussen men jag var tvungen eftersom jag kände igen rösten.
“Vad”? Jag vände mig om jag tittade på marken.
“Farten”! Det var Louis som hade ropat efter mig och med min tur gick bussen precis när jag vände mig om.
Jag hörde skratten bakom mig, det kändes som knivar emot mig rygg.
“Man lägg av för fan”. Killarna tystnade och stirrade på mig när jag gick fram till dom.
Jag stod så nära Louis så jag kände hans andetag.
“Ehh...Va”?
“Spela inte dum nu. Vad fan har jag gjort för att ni ska mobba mig? Här kommer jag och hoppas på något bra och det första ni säger till mig är att ni tänker döda mig om jag rör Liam eller vad fan ni sa. Varför skulle jag röra honom? Tror ni att jag tycker att det är kul att flytta varje år till olika länder”? Jag andades tungt och fort, jag kände vreden växa inom mig. Jag såg rakt in i Louis blå ögon.
“Tat’ lugnt, vi driver med dig okej”? Det var Zayn som hade kommit fram och stod nu bredvid mig och Louis.
“Tror du att jag tycker att det här är kul”? Jag stod nu vänd emot Zayn som såg lite smått chockad ut.
“Josephine? Zayn”? Det var Niall som hade kommit fram till oss och tittade nu på oss med stora ögon.
“Jag orkar inte mer om ni hatar mig så fucking mycket kan jag göra er den tjänsten och ta livet av mig, jag bryr mig inte”. Och med det vände jag mig om och sprang iväg. Jag tittade inte på deras miner… Jag vågade inte…
---------------------
Nialls POV:
“Vi ses senare”. Jag vinkade till Josephine som sprang iväg till sin nästa lektion.
När jag gick genom korridoren ner till Bildsalen kände jag besvikelsen komma sköljandes. Så klart skulle hon falla för Louis och inte mig.
Jag gick ner för korridoren och in i bildsalen. Zayn satt tillsammans med Liam. Louis och Harry satt säkert i något hörn och “myste”.
“Zayn, Liam”. Jag gick fram till killarna och log.
“Hur var eran dejt då”?
“Liam sitt still för fan”. Zayn satt och ritade av Liam när han satt på en stol och eftersom han inte fick röra på sig blev Zayn lite smått sur när han rörde på sig.
“Dejt”? Jag frös till och kände hur rådnanden kom smygandes.
“Ja du och Josephine eller vad hon heter”.
“Liam jag lovar att jag kommer döda dig om du rör på dig gen”.
“Det är inget någon dejt vi tränade bara okej”?
“Whatever”.
Josephines POV
Dagen gick och det vad dags att dra till dansen.
“Josephine du tappade något”. Jag ville inte stanna eftersom att jag var sen till bussen men jag var tvungen eftersom jag kände igen rösten.
“Vad”? Jag vände mig om jag tittade på marken.
“Farten”! Det var Louis som hade ropat efter mig och med min tur gick bussen precis när jag vände mig om.
Jag hörde skratten bakom mig, det kändes som knivar emot mig rygg.
“Man lägg av för fan”. Killarna tystnade och stirrade på mig när jag gick fram till dom.
Jag stod så nära Louis så jag kände hans andetag.
“Ehh...Va”?
“Spela inte dum nu. Vad fan har jag gjort för att ni ska mobba mig? Här kommer jag och hoppas på något bra och det första ni säger till mig är att ni tänker döda mig om jag rör Liam eller vad fan ni sa. Varför skulle jag röra honom? Tror ni att jag tycker att det är kul att flytta varje år till olika länder”? Jag andades tungt och fort, jag kände vreden växa inom mig. Jag såg rakt in i Louis blå ögon.
“Tat’ lugnt, vi driver med dig okej”? Det var Zayn som hade kommit fram och stod nu bredvid mig och Louis.
“Tror du att jag tycker att det här är kul”? Jag stod nu vänd emot Zayn som såg lite smått chockad ut.
“Josephine? Zayn”? Det var Niall som hade kommit fram till oss och tittade nu på oss med stora ögon.
“Jag orkar inte mer om ni hatar mig så fucking mycket kan jag göra er den tjänsten och ta livet av mig, jag bryr mig inte”. Och med det vände jag mig om och sprang iväg. Jag tittade inte på deras miner… Jag vågade inte…
Sadness + Zayn = happy ending - Ziall
Nialls POV
-Why me? Why just me, what did I do to make them not like me as mush as the others? I was sitting in my sofa in my flat after a long day with radio shows and stuff.
After their first show the guys went out to write autographs and stuff. But nearly no one wanted Nialls’ autographs but everyone else. At the time he just smiled and walked on but now he was so sad. Why didn’t people like him?
-Well of course I’m ugly and I can’t sing. I should stop this now. As he stood up and turned around he met brown glittering eyes.
-Stop what? Zayn asked with a surprised voice.
-Oh hey Zayn. I gave him a quick smile when I realised that he might heard me.
-Did I hear right when you said that you were ugly and so?
-Oh, yea. So? As I made my way beside him to the door he grabbed my arm and hold it tight.
-Niall you’re NOT ugly. Stop with that shit. Everyone loves you.
-Hah, love me? Everyone hates me. I felt my tears as they fell down my cheek.
-Yea?
-Every fucking day when I logging in to Twitter I gets alot of hates from people that says that I should quit the band and that I’m ugly and fat and-and. I couldn't speak more for all the tears made me sobbing.
-Niall don’t let them come to you. You’re not ugly, the other way around you are beautiful and you’re really talent, you have the voice of an angle and fat? Have you seen yourself in a mirror? You’re just perfect.
-You know how I think that perfect is boring. I gave him a small smile before I turned around and gave Zayn a hug. I sank more and more into his arms.
-Want to watch a movie so you can feel better?
I gave him a nob into his chest.
Zayns’ POV:
-What do you want to watch? I looked down at the smaller boy and smiled.
-Can we watch Finding Nemo? He asked with a low voice.
-Yea, anything for you. And when Niall turned his head up and looked me right in my eyes I realised: I WOULD do anything for this little blond boy. That I wanted to protect him form everything bad.
-Thanks Zayn for cheering me up.
-No problems. By the way guess what?
Niall gave me a weird look before hi shake his head.
-No what?
-I love you. I said and saw how the blush came hunting on Nialls cheeks.
-Why me? Why just me, what did I do to make them not like me as mush as the others? I was sitting in my sofa in my flat after a long day with radio shows and stuff.
After their first show the guys went out to write autographs and stuff. But nearly no one wanted Nialls’ autographs but everyone else. At the time he just smiled and walked on but now he was so sad. Why didn’t people like him?
-Well of course I’m ugly and I can’t sing. I should stop this now. As he stood up and turned around he met brown glittering eyes.
-Stop what? Zayn asked with a surprised voice.
-Oh hey Zayn. I gave him a quick smile when I realised that he might heard me.
-Did I hear right when you said that you were ugly and so?
-Oh, yea. So? As I made my way beside him to the door he grabbed my arm and hold it tight.
-Niall you’re NOT ugly. Stop with that shit. Everyone loves you.
-Hah, love me? Everyone hates me. I felt my tears as they fell down my cheek.
-Yea?
-Every fucking day when I logging in to Twitter I gets alot of hates from people that says that I should quit the band and that I’m ugly and fat and-and. I couldn't speak more for all the tears made me sobbing.
-Niall don’t let them come to you. You’re not ugly, the other way around you are beautiful and you’re really talent, you have the voice of an angle and fat? Have you seen yourself in a mirror? You’re just perfect.
-You know how I think that perfect is boring. I gave him a small smile before I turned around and gave Zayn a hug. I sank more and more into his arms.
-Want to watch a movie so you can feel better?
I gave him a nob into his chest.
Zayns’ POV:
-What do you want to watch? I looked down at the smaller boy and smiled.
-Can we watch Finding Nemo? He asked with a low voice.
-Yea, anything for you. And when Niall turned his head up and looked me right in my eyes I realised: I WOULD do anything for this little blond boy. That I wanted to protect him form everything bad.
-Thanks Zayn for cheering me up.
-No problems. By the way guess what?
Niall gave me a weird look before hi shake his head.
-No what?
-I love you. I said and saw how the blush came hunting on Nialls cheeks.
